We never see ourselves the way others see us

[cjsmith]

Yesterday my boss announced my imminent departure in our (small, just the OS group) team meeting. Just after that I sent the nice tidy "been great working with you, best of luck to the company" mail to the whole software team and a few random others I've worked closely with.

I was inundated with mail and with people dropping by, all saying they were sorry to see me go. I was completely useless for the rest of the day what with all the conversations. I had no idea I would get that much of a reaction! People I've worked with only very briefly -- an architect from the other side of the building, for example -- called it "a sad day" and said they'd enjoyed working with me! I was amazed. I think I've got more than 25% of the company coming to my goodbye lunch.

Jim called me outgoing. Can you believe it? Outgoing? My boss said I'm a hard worker and I never complain. I guess I save the whining for here! And lots of people praised my work, my intelligence, my responsiveness, etc. Here I've been spending months slogging through a project, thinking my God I've got to get out of this kind of work and back into something I can blaze through, and they're all saying I'm fantastic. Okay then!

I guess we never can see ourselves the way others see us. Over and over I fall into the trap of thinking I'm getting a better, more realistic image of my outward self, and then over and over I get gobsmacked when I learn that my image is way off the mark.

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks! I agree that it happens outside the workplace too. My favorite example is a eulogy. It reminds me to give compliments when I can.

Feeling so good about yourself will make interviewing for your next job much easier.

Absolutely! That's very good timing. :-)

[kennita.livejournal.com]

A lot of people I know are going to get to experience this soon. A well-known member of the Pagan and filking (and many other) communities died in a motorcycle crash Tuesday night. I didn't know her well, but I met her, and what I remember of her is "passionate". I've seen more than a hundred LJ posts about her in the past day, a number of which were of the "I'm sad that I never got around to..." variety.

Definitely say the nice things now, while you can. Which reminds me -- CJ, I think you're beautiful, intelligent, friendly, talented, and fun to be around. I'm glad I know you.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yes. I didn't know her well either, and I'm not sure I've ever met her, but I knew *of* her.

Thank you so much! Kennita, I think you're intelligent, courageous, practical, caring, fun, emotionally resilient, and highly principled. I'm glad I know you too.