Over the shoulder boulder holder

[cjsmith]

I was very pleased to discover that Title Nine has a store in Palo Alto. They don't carry my size (no one within a couple thousand miles carries my size) but they have something close.

I walked out with a 32DDD - yes, three Ds - in something that I am guessing runs small. I also ordered a 32DD for those days when I might want to descend a stairway while carrying something in my hands. You curvy ladies know what I mean, I'm sure.

One advantage of shopping at a sports store: you get an undergarment that does something more than just make lines on your shoulders.

Dear Victoria's Secret,

I will never darken your door again. I'm sure your feeling of relief at that statement is second only to mine.

Sincerely,
Someone crass enough to have an actual chest

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

My feet are *very* sore now because I spent an hour shopping and jumping up and down in the dressing room. I was quite impressed with a couple of the bras I tried on. One of 'em had everything but flying buttresses. It's pretty frightening-looking, and it takes a while to do up all those hooks (pec exercises! one, two, SMOOSH!), but it definitely does the job. The one I chose is more traditional in appearance but just as... effective. :-)

[sharya.livejournal.com]

The one you got looks exactly like the sports bra I use! Or used to use. I've now gone up a few sizes due to breastfeeding :/

One of my good friends has a hell of a time with bras too... she's a 30 GG

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh yikes, 30GG sounds like a nightmare. The things some women have to deal with!

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Not having the issue, personally, the concept of wires in a bra makes me cringe - they seem like they'd be painful if not done very well.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

They're just about the only thing that work, at least for me. The U shape gives a lot of extra stability to the fabric. My best guess at the force redistribution: the weight wants to go *down* but it can't because it would have to stretch a shoulder strap, and having the wire there means the weight going down would *also* have to stretch the sides of the cup. This way they don't have to make it out of concrete. ;-)

[jcgbigler.livejournal.com]

The U shape gives a lot of extra stability to the fabric. My best guess at the force redistribution: the weight wants to go *down* but it can't because it would have to stretch a shoulder strap, and having the wire there means the weight going down would *also* have to stretch the sides of the cup. This way they don't have to make it out of concrete.

In many ways, a bra is the clothing equivalent of a suspension bridge. Basically, you want to increase the load that the bridge can carry. The underwire serves the equivalent of a combination of the floor and the stiffening trusses in the following diagram.



And yes, like suspension bridges, a bra that's designed badly is prone to failure, much like the Tacoma Narrows bridge in Washington did in 1940:

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I've read A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0138526575/sr=8-1/qid=1142789596/ref=sr_1_1/104-2464898-1428737?%5Fencoding=UTF8), but I never thought I would think of Galloping Gertie and bras in the same thread. :-)

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

that was the first thing i thought of too :)

Yay, Title 9!

[wooddragon.livejournal.com]

The one with everything but flying buttresses is the *only* bra I have ever put on that I can run in (and I have tried hundreds)without someone's hands providing extra support. I have two of them, in case one is dirty...

I have many, many bras from Title 9. I love Title 9. I just ordered from there this week...

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I always used to hang on when I ran, even in a jogbra. I did a lot of Bay to Breakers that way. :-)

It's an exaggeration when they say you "won't bounce at all, not ever" in that bra -- but it's WAY minimized. And this one I'm wearing was just as good in the dressing room test. Yay Title 9!

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

I always used to hang on when I ran, even in a jogbra.

My solution has been to wear TWO sportsbras, one on top of the other. That's the only way I've ever found enough stability to actually JOG. One sportsbra is fine for lighter activity like step-aerobics or soccer. Why does my comfortable jogging pace have to be at the EXACT natural frequency of my breasts? Is there some kind of evolutionary advantage to that? 'Cause I'm not getting it!

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I've heard of the two-bras solution but never tried it. I sympathize completely with the natural frequency problem! If this is "intelligent design" I want a smarter designer.

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[wooddragon.livejournal.com]

They used to say that of the frog bra, which did not work for me. But for the one with all the hooks, I can run in it and not be uncomfortable. Prior to that, it required two layers of Spandex under the T-shirt...

I didn't like running while holding on, which is probably a reason I'm not much of a runner...

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

The frog bra didn't work for me either. But that Last Resort is amazing!

I didn't particularly love holding on either, but that just made me more annoyed at the boobage than at the running!

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[wooddragon.livejournal.com]

I don't have any balance when I'm holding onto 'the girls'. Either not having the arms swinging, or their own rhythm would send me sideways. :)

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[psi-star-psi.livejournal.com]

Wait, you have two hands to add support to your bra, in case one is dirty? I'm confident you can find volunteers to assist in case of any shortage.

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I once had a running buddy who volunteered. The gait coordination required was impressive.

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[psi-star-psi.livejournal.com]

This is what the Summer Olympics is missing. Synchronized running!

Re: Yay, Title 9!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I want to see the bit where the guy pitches his partner downrange and then has to run at an inhuman pace to go catch her. Of course, with this modification, we're back to "only breastless women need apply" -- making it just like every other Olympic sport.