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There's no one *physically* close to me who is also *emotionally* close to me. (Except for Rob, obviously.) My previous entry reminds me of this, because giving up square dancing is giving up the majority of my non-work social contact. But this is something I've been puzzling over for months now.
Some of my most caring friends are thousands of miles away. Just as an example, when I had surgery I was overwhelmed by the support I got -- cards, gifts, visits -- from people physically far away. Local people? Made LJ comments. :-) The Thursday night square dance group I call for once a month, to which I showed up still bandaged heavily and leaning on a walker? Had me sign a get well card for someone else! If I needed a demonstration of just how invisible I am in person, that group couldn't have planned it better.
Why is this? What is it that I'm doing?
Maybe I smell bad in person. Maybe my unwillingness to drive long distances during rush hour for social gatherings where I don't know people well is really holding me back. Maybe I don't reach out to others or plan far enough ahead. Maybe I'm just really freakin' shy (and I think there's some truth in that one). Maybe the set of people I am drawn to and the set of people who are drawn to me simply don't have a very big intersection!
I do have some people I would quickly name as friends, who are local to me, but it's interesting to note I don't see them very often -- once every couple of weeks is the *highest* frequency and that happens only when they're not very busy.
What am I doing that leads me to craft this strange unbalance in my social life?
Some of my most caring friends are thousands of miles away. Just as an example, when I had surgery I was overwhelmed by the support I got -- cards, gifts, visits -- from people physically far away. Local people? Made LJ comments. :-) The Thursday night square dance group I call for once a month, to which I showed up still bandaged heavily and leaning on a walker? Had me sign a get well card for someone else! If I needed a demonstration of just how invisible I am in person, that group couldn't have planned it better.
Why is this? What is it that I'm doing?
Maybe I smell bad in person. Maybe my unwillingness to drive long distances during rush hour for social gatherings where I don't know people well is really holding me back. Maybe I don't reach out to others or plan far enough ahead. Maybe I'm just really freakin' shy (and I think there's some truth in that one). Maybe the set of people I am drawn to and the set of people who are drawn to me simply don't have a very big intersection!
I do have some people I would quickly name as friends, who are local to me, but it's interesting to note I don't see them very often -- once every couple of weeks is the *highest* frequency and that happens only when they're not very busy.
What am I doing that leads me to craft this strange unbalance in my social life?
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I am incredibly happy for her that she got this transplant. I am so happy I've been tongue-tied -- I've made maybe one comment in her journal since she was notified. I soooooooooo hope this works out well!!
I sometimes do invite people to come for a visit. O'course, flying across several states is a big investment of time/money, so people tend to come visit when they have some other reason to be in this area. I like it when that works out.
Sometimes all it takes is the risk of putting yourself out there, and seeing what comes back.
Yep, I think this is very well put. I haven't been putting myself out there. Surprise!, nothing's been coming back. Time to take a look and see how I can (and how I want to) change that.
I remember a charming hostess who had a lovely party with delicious food at her home, and a tub full of lots of people laughing and relaxing.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww, *big blush* thank you! :-) :-) (This is so not my image of myself. I don't think of myself as someone who knows how to host stuff. I'm glad that party turned out well.)