In-person friends

[cjsmith]

There's no one *physically* close to me who is also *emotionally* close to me. (Except for Rob, obviously.) My previous entry reminds me of this, because giving up square dancing is giving up the majority of my non-work social contact. But this is something I've been puzzling over for months now.

Some of my most caring friends are thousands of miles away. Just as an example, when I had surgery I was overwhelmed by the support I got -- cards, gifts, visits -- from people physically far away. Local people? Made LJ comments. :-) The Thursday night square dance group I call for once a month, to which I showed up still bandaged heavily and leaning on a walker? Had me sign a get well card for someone else! If I needed a demonstration of just how invisible I am in person, that group couldn't have planned it better.

Why is this? What is it that I'm doing?

Maybe I smell bad in person. Maybe my unwillingness to drive long distances during rush hour for social gatherings where I don't know people well is really holding me back. Maybe I don't reach out to others or plan far enough ahead. Maybe I'm just really freakin' shy (and I think there's some truth in that one). Maybe the set of people I am drawn to and the set of people who are drawn to me simply don't have a very big intersection!

I do have some people I would quickly name as friends, who are local to me, but it's interesting to note I don't see them very often -- once every couple of weeks is the *highest* frequency and that happens only when they're not very busy.

What am I doing that leads me to craft this strange unbalance in my social life?

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It sure does make a difference. Ten minutes is "hey, I have a half hour free, want to drop by?" while 30 minutes is "I have some time late next week".

I will start paying more attention to the WVFC social stuff. The camping trip to Columbia was fun. More things like that would be great.

[layer.livejournal.com]

totally. and do you do baflying stuff? they've been really quiet lately (or i got somehow dropped). i have many times thought about attending stuff, but would never have the guts to show up alone.

and we do still have CAM nights. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I should get involved in baflying again. I haven't heard much from them lately either -- maybe when I get back from this trip I'll fire off a note saying "who wants to _______________" (attend some safety seminar, see a movie, whatever).

CAM nights are a good thing. What ever happened with Flight Plan, by the way? Rob and I bailed due to the last minute time change -- did you guys watch it?

[layer.livejournal.com]

this one looks pretty darned interesting:

"Maximize Safety by Minimizing Human Error in the GA Cockpit."
October 29, 2005 at 9:00 AM
Petaluma, CA

and dethtonge and i are planning to go to this one if you'd like to join:

"The Last Five Miles"
Tuesday, November 1, 2005, starting at 7:00 pm
Mountain View, CA

as for flight plan, dethtonge and johnreen did wind up going but i couldn't stay that late, so i missed it. they did express a willingness to go again so we could all see it though. we need to start trolling for the next set...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

That first one does look interesting... wonder if I could convince rfrench to fly us to Petaluma to arrive by 9am (HAHAHAHA) :-)

I was thinking about going to that second one. I have the little notification card I got in the mail. Hmmmmmmmm. It's the first day of That Which Must Not Be Named but what the hey, I can always fit a little extra into the schedule, right? :-)

[layer.livejournal.com]

that's exactly what i was thinking. 9am is too early to be awake, much less PIC.

we're planning to meet for dinner in mountain view before the 11/1 one. will keep you posted.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Most excellent! Thanks!