In-person friends

[cjsmith]

There's no one *physically* close to me who is also *emotionally* close to me. (Except for Rob, obviously.) My previous entry reminds me of this, because giving up square dancing is giving up the majority of my non-work social contact. But this is something I've been puzzling over for months now.

Some of my most caring friends are thousands of miles away. Just as an example, when I had surgery I was overwhelmed by the support I got -- cards, gifts, visits -- from people physically far away. Local people? Made LJ comments. :-) The Thursday night square dance group I call for once a month, to which I showed up still bandaged heavily and leaning on a walker? Had me sign a get well card for someone else! If I needed a demonstration of just how invisible I am in person, that group couldn't have planned it better.

Why is this? What is it that I'm doing?

Maybe I smell bad in person. Maybe my unwillingness to drive long distances during rush hour for social gatherings where I don't know people well is really holding me back. Maybe I don't reach out to others or plan far enough ahead. Maybe I'm just really freakin' shy (and I think there's some truth in that one). Maybe the set of people I am drawn to and the set of people who are drawn to me simply don't have a very big intersection!

I do have some people I would quickly name as friends, who are local to me, but it's interesting to note I don't see them very often -- once every couple of weeks is the *highest* frequency and that happens only when they're not very busy.

What am I doing that leads me to craft this strange unbalance in my social life?

Comments

[layer.livejournal.com]

count me in for flying clubs if you do that. i definitely need to start socializing more in that arena. and you know i'll never do that on my own...

my best friend used to live 10 minutes away. now she's 30 minutes away. i used to see her practically every weekend. now it's only every couple of months. it makes a difference that extra time.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It sure does make a difference. Ten minutes is "hey, I have a half hour free, want to drop by?" while 30 minutes is "I have some time late next week".

I will start paying more attention to the WVFC social stuff. The camping trip to Columbia was fun. More things like that would be great.

[layer.livejournal.com]

totally. and do you do baflying stuff? they've been really quiet lately (or i got somehow dropped). i have many times thought about attending stuff, but would never have the guts to show up alone.

and we do still have CAM nights. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I should get involved in baflying again. I haven't heard much from them lately either -- maybe when I get back from this trip I'll fire off a note saying "who wants to _______________" (attend some safety seminar, see a movie, whatever).

CAM nights are a good thing. What ever happened with Flight Plan, by the way? Rob and I bailed due to the last minute time change -- did you guys watch it?

[layer.livejournal.com]

this one looks pretty darned interesting:

"Maximize Safety by Minimizing Human Error in the GA Cockpit."
October 29, 2005 at 9:00 AM
Petaluma, CA

and dethtonge and i are planning to go to this one if you'd like to join:

"The Last Five Miles"
Tuesday, November 1, 2005, starting at 7:00 pm
Mountain View, CA

as for flight plan, dethtonge and johnreen did wind up going but i couldn't stay that late, so i missed it. they did express a willingness to go again so we could all see it though. we need to start trolling for the next set...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

That first one does look interesting... wonder if I could convince rfrench to fly us to Petaluma to arrive by 9am (HAHAHAHA) :-)

I was thinking about going to that second one. I have the little notification card I got in the mail. Hmmmmmmmm. It's the first day of That Which Must Not Be Named but what the hey, I can always fit a little extra into the schedule, right? :-)

[layer.livejournal.com]

that's exactly what i was thinking. 9am is too early to be awake, much less PIC.

we're planning to meet for dinner in mountain view before the 11/1 one. will keep you posted.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Most excellent! Thanks!