People who talk as if they know

[cjsmith]

I have a coworker who talks as if he is an authority -- full of confidence, very firm statements -- when he doesn't have any information or experience to back it up.

Random person: "Hey, where's a good dosa restaurant?"
Him: "Restaurant A is the best."
Me: "I like Restaurant B, too."
Him: "A is way better."
Me: "Have you ever been to Restaurant B?"

No, of course; he hadn't. I had to ask him twice before he admitted it, too. So he knows when he's doing this, and he doesn't like getting caught at it.

In another hallway conversation, just now, he spouted off about flying airplanes, a subject I have some minor experience with. Now that I know he doesn't like being confronted, I stopped myself short of asking outright if he had a pilot's license. (Obviously, I'm convinced he doesn't.) I did go ahead and mention what "my flight instructor" had "taught me" about the topic "when I was getting my license". He had the grace to stop making shit up for a few minutes.

How the heck do people deal with somebody like this? Dude, you're POLLUTING THE DATA STREAM. Shut UP. But maybe I'm oversensitive about people making things up and presenting them as truth. Maybe people are smarter than I think, and there isn't any increased tendency to believe a person just because he's confident and loud. (And maybe the Easter Bunny really is ten feet tall.)

Comments

[airporter.livejournal.com]

I have no idea why I do it occasionally, though I've been very fortunate that most of those who call me on it are kind and generous like yourself. I call those people friends... :D

Okay, well yeah. I know why I do it. It's "my brain is bigger than yours." Comes from being the only pansy in a Redneck house maybe?

[thorswitch.livejournal.com]

I catch myself doing that from time to time - though usually what I'm doing isn't so much making things up wholesale, but more listening to what the person I'm talking to is saying and what I already know, and then kind of extrapolating from there. Not much better, really, I know.

I'm sure it has to to with trying to cover up my absolute lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. I understand airporter when he says it's the "my brain is bigger than yours," thing, though for me, it's not from being in a redneck house, but because my brain's about the only damn part of me that works like it's supposed to and often the only thing about myself I feel I can take pride in.

Since I started catching myself doing it several years ago, though, I've tried to make an effort to acknowledge when I'm speculating on something by saying stuff like "from what I've read" or "my understanding is" or "I don't know for sure, but I think this...." - stuff like that. I dunno how much that's worth, but I figure it's better than just going on and letting whomever I'm talking to think I'm actually knowledgeable on the topic at hand... ::sigh:: I'm MUCH better at catching it and hedging my comments when typing than when talking, though, because sometimes words come out so fast I actually have trouble tracking my line of reasoning - LOL

Oh, CJ - sorry the glucose test was so awful... blech! I hope your results are good, though :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I see a big difference between extrapolating and discussing possibilities on the one hand, and on the other hand, making stuff up and then arguing for it against alternative ideas presented. I think it's fun to brainstorm in conversation, and at least in spoken conversation, tone can convey what's going on. It's usually a cooperative feeling.

This guy is an arguer. Why did he have to insist immediately that Restaurant A was better than B? Couldn't they both be delicious? Why did he try to put me down about the airplane engine failure stuff ("But YOU don't fly THAT kind of plane"), up until he learned that I really had had some training in the subject? He's just... I hate to be as dismissive as this, but I think he's kinda messed up. It's annoying and exhausting to be around him. I say anything factual and I'm suddenly the target of put-downs.

[thorswitch.livejournal.com]

Ok, yeah, I see what you mean. That is whacked!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

"my brain is bigger than yours."

Yeah, I can see that in myself, too: the desire to show off just a touch, the desire to win. (I knew somebody once who lived to help people, but couldn't stand receiving help himself. It was his way of being better than others.) I guess it's human nature. This guy, though... he's a real case. Chronic and severe. I've known him for a very short time, and already I want to reply to anything he says with "How do you know that? What supports this claim?" When I think about it, I just feel tired. I don't have the energy to counter made-up "facts" all the time.

[airporter.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you could adopt a simple refrain like "show me the money."

Just to see if he ever gets it.