People who talk as if they know

[cjsmith]

I have a coworker who talks as if he is an authority -- full of confidence, very firm statements -- when he doesn't have any information or experience to back it up.

Random person: "Hey, where's a good dosa restaurant?"
Him: "Restaurant A is the best."
Me: "I like Restaurant B, too."
Him: "A is way better."
Me: "Have you ever been to Restaurant B?"

No, of course; he hadn't. I had to ask him twice before he admitted it, too. So he knows when he's doing this, and he doesn't like getting caught at it.

In another hallway conversation, just now, he spouted off about flying airplanes, a subject I have some minor experience with. Now that I know he doesn't like being confronted, I stopped myself short of asking outright if he had a pilot's license. (Obviously, I'm convinced he doesn't.) I did go ahead and mention what "my flight instructor" had "taught me" about the topic "when I was getting my license". He had the grace to stop making shit up for a few minutes.

How the heck do people deal with somebody like this? Dude, you're POLLUTING THE DATA STREAM. Shut UP. But maybe I'm oversensitive about people making things up and presenting them as truth. Maybe people are smarter than I think, and there isn't any increased tendency to believe a person just because he's confident and loud. (And maybe the Easter Bunny really is ten feet tall.)

Comments

[linuxcub.livejournal.com]

Why does this person do this ?

Is there something he wants, and is there another way for him to get it, that doesn't involve this kind of behaviour ?

[dpolicar]

I find that by being an attentive audience and asking leading questions and never contradicting them, I can string them along into saying more and more outlandish things. It's fun.

[wildseakitten.livejournal.com]

oh I know people like that. a cousin and a brother particularly are like that. both know everything about everything, and if one doesn't know it, the other is sure to know it... and usually they both know more than the other person. they were certainly a trip to listen to when they go to talking about something like you just mentioned.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I have no idea. I doubt I'll find out unless I get to know him a lot better, as he doesn't seem to want to face the fact he does it at all, so asking him why is unlikely to work well. But I admit I wish he'd go figure it out and fix it.

[ckd]

Kind of like the fun game to play with idiot vendor reps?

"Does your product support RFC 1149?"

Some of them will say "yes, of course we do."

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

There is a devilish little imp inside me who really wants to try this. Heh. :) I bet it takes a bit of practice, though, to do it well.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

OMG, I definitely have to work that into the next networking conversation. [memorize number... memorize number]

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

They're kind of fun to watch, but when something has to be decided, I wish there were a way to put an automatic label onto everything they say: CAUTION, THIS CLAIM IS COMPLETELY UNSUPPORTED.

[ckd]

Try this perhaps?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

On his forehead? ;)

Head, Gut, or Groin?

[psi-star-psi.livejournal.com]

Since you included the gender of the speaker this time, I feel safer attributing it to Male Answer Syndrome (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=male+answer+syndrome).

Re: Head, Gut, or Groin?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

This guy doesn't even need a question to answer. He'll invent some random fact and START a conversation with it. Did he not get enough attention as a kid, or what?

[abqdan.livejournal.com]

Completely off topic - excuse the indulgence, but I love some of the old RFCs . This is a favorite: http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2324.txt The funniest thing is that by now, I'm sure there are coffee pots with Ethernet ports...

Oh - and the colleague is a pompus ass of course.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

The acronym alone makes that one worth publishing! HTCPCP! I love it.

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

You must have read this (http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-op-solnit13apr13,0,526991.story). Right?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I hadn't! An excellent treatment of the topic. Now what I'd love to know is a sort of verbal aikido for sending such an idiot flying (with his own momentum) into a brick wall.

[meglimir.livejournal.com]

I know somebody like that.

It's taken over 2 years of constantly telling him, "People like you for *you*. They like you as you *really* are. They don't want some fake, not-you person." And so on. (Ok, it helps that he really *is* a nice guy when he's not trying to channel some artificial persona.)

He's finally, more often than not, telling people the truth about himself, and holding conversations from his own merits, instead of trying to get away with impressing people who (he hopes) can't spot the ringer. It took a long time for him to get started on the right track, but he's got better faster.

[gdmusumeci.livejournal.com]

RFC 527 is probably my favorite....

[dpolicar]

Well, I'm pretty good in general at talking to people about their views of the world; this is simply a use of that power for Evil. Mostly, the trick to it (in both cases) is to ask for clarification a lot.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

HAH! Man, I sense a new poll coming. Name your favorite humorous RFC. I don't remember ever seeing any of these before!

[gdmusumeci.livejournal.com]

I did go ahead and mention what "my flight instructor" had "taught me" about the topic "when I was getting my license".

You seem to have mistyped "certificate." ;-)

Anyways, I hate this sort of behavior. I used to violently crucify people who did this. Seriously, their heads were on pikes outside my office. But now in my tender old age, I have mellowed out and learned that it is not really worth spending the energy to get worked up over it, and I just ignore them.

Sometimes this happens in meetings, though, and then I get a good few minutes of amusement out of drawing little cartoons of them being dismembered and thrown into the flaming belly of Moloch (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moloch).

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

There's a longer version here (http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/174918).

I printed it out and stuck it to the refrigerator. Seven pages in 16 pt Times New Roman.

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

I see that a lot in the cooking communities. Someone will ask a question and people will pull stuff right out of their asses. Makes me crazy, when I let it. I don't let it much, anymore. But if I'm feeling cranky, or someone is, you know, endangering someone's health by posting something stupid and so not right, I'll comment.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I bet he's even more likable now, too. *sigh* I don't know this coworker of mine well enough to try to bolster him up, nor even to know whether that's the underlying issue. In my selfish curmudgeonly way, I just kinda wish he'd grown up by now. :-/

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

You seem to have mistyped "certificate." ;-)

You're absolutely right, I have. :-)

I haven't mellowed yet. We've got two blustery clattermouths in the organization, one of whom is this guy and the other of whom is simply happiest when telling everybody things they already know or telling people how to do their jobs. I want duct tape, I tell you. Duct tape. I think if these two couldn't spout off at the mouth they'd explode into tiny bits.