I am a fashion MAVEN

[cjsmith]

wordweaverlynn posted her style rules, which I thought were nifty and keen, and (since she asked her readers) I was inspired to create my own set of rules.

But it didn't really turn out to be a set of rules. It's more like a set of things -- a very, very small set of things -- that I can wear.

Here is why I look so dumpy all the time:

Shirt:

Must be large enough that it does not draw attention to my boobs.
Must not have buttons down the center front - see above.
These two rules taken together mean that my shirts are always knit and incredibly baggy.
Cat hair is optional, but usually present.

Pants:

Must be the only pants in the world that come close to fitting me: Eddie Bauer jeans, with the hips a size bigger than the waist. These come in two colors: blue and blue.

(If I could find them with the hips two sizes bigger than the waist, they would actually fit, and I would probably wear them even into the shower due to overwhelming bliss.)

Socks:

I have recently discovered that boys' socks fit me. These come in one color scheme: white with gray on the bottom. They can be seen in my shower.

Shoes:

These because I can stand up in them and even walk some. They are black, and they look dashing with those white and gray socks sticking out the front.

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Were you looking at my brain? ;-)

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

not without my sunglasses (: