I am a fashion MAVEN

[cjsmith]

wordweaverlynn posted her style rules, which I thought were nifty and keen, and (since she asked her readers) I was inspired to create my own set of rules.

But it didn't really turn out to be a set of rules. It's more like a set of things -- a very, very small set of things -- that I can wear.

Here is why I look so dumpy all the time:

Shirt:

Must be large enough that it does not draw attention to my boobs.
Must not have buttons down the center front - see above.
These two rules taken together mean that my shirts are always knit and incredibly baggy.
Cat hair is optional, but usually present.

Pants:

Must be the only pants in the world that come close to fitting me: Eddie Bauer jeans, with the hips a size bigger than the waist. These come in two colors: blue and blue.

(If I could find them with the hips two sizes bigger than the waist, they would actually fit, and I would probably wear them even into the shower due to overwhelming bliss.)

Socks:

I have recently discovered that boys' socks fit me. These come in one color scheme: white with gray on the bottom. They can be seen in my shower.

Shoes:

These because I can stand up in them and even walk some. They are black, and they look dashing with those white and gray socks sticking out the front.

Comments

[mbumby.livejournal.com]

I attended a "learn this system for making clothing, get a free (proto-)pattern, and spend lots of money on our doo-dads -- but of course we won't tell you that up front" session a few years ago (about 10). I've not actually had time/space to make clothes, but one thing I do remember is that the actual (y axis) location of the buttons matters a lot. Of course I _don't_ remember whether you want to position a button (and space the others accordingly) right between the boobs, or at that sweet-spot an inch or so above (with another one equally below) to keep button-shirts from gapping. (And I am not the person to experiment on, because as I say, when I'm flat on my back, I'm _flat_ on my back...)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I agree that the vertical location of the buttons is key. For me, either directly between or right above and right below will BOTH gap, but that is because mass-produced clothing is made for a B cup. If the shirt were made to fit my shape (definitely a custom operation) I am guessing that above-and-below would work better. It's when your arms move (pulling the shirt up a tad) that's the worst. I *think*. They're so bad on me that honestly I can't tell. :-)