Gimp social life

[cjsmith]

Another side effect of this week's social whirlwind is that I've blatantly overused my feet twice in less than a week. Twice in a week is very very bad. Part of me is whining that nobody invites me to all this fun stuff the rest of the year, and the saner part of me is replying that that's because I can't go. Part of me is whining that we did all that walking and really flared up my feet, and the saner part is replying that if people stayed within my limitations no one could have gone.

It hurts to realize that I really can't be doing these things. The day in Berkeley was lovely, but it's Wednesday now and I haven't recovered. I'm supposed to be babying my feet in the hopes of slow healing; this week has probably set me back what, a month? Two? If any healing is happening at all, of course.

(Mary, do you have a guess about how far we walked? A mile? It would be interesting to know.)

I will have to face the fact that I am sufficiently physically disabled that it is a factor in my social life.

1) A LJ-friend of mine posted a while back about his frustration walking with someone who was slow. Check, I thought, likely no in-person friendship with this one. I want people to hang out with me because THEY WANT TO, not because they are being virtuous and suppressing their frustration. Heck, I'm angry and frustrated enough about this issue for several people! I don't need others being bothered by me!

2) If I need special consideration for walking and parking and all that jazz, that changes the equation of how fun it is to be around me. It can be annoying when one person is putting limitations on a group's activity. At the end of the day, what matters is whether everybody had a good time. To push that equation over to the positive side, I need to offer more of something else good -- more laughter, more helpfulness, more insight, more creativity, goodness knows what -- than I would need if I didn't have physical limitations butting in.

Therefore, my friends and I will self-select. People who don't want to hang around a gimp won't. People who don't want to wait won't. I'll hang out less with people who seem frustrated or who run on ahead of me, because damn bringing up the rear all the time is humiliating. Those who do choose to be with me will be doing it because it's worth their while... and for right now, I'll be over here figuring out what it is that will make it worth their while. There WILL BE something. There probably already is. For my sanity I want to be aware of what that is, and nurture it.

Comments

[aleeceh.livejournal.com]

I found it pretty easy to adapt to using, at least on smooth, level terrain. Hills and steps I haven't really mastered. I work with a polio survivor who is in a chair full time, so having observed some of his tricks over the years was a big help. It's quicker to pull yourself through a door by the doorframe than to use the chair wheels. It's quicker and easier on the hands to turn corners by putting your inside hand on the wall than to brake the inside wheel with it; you don't have to push the outside wheel as much and you don't lose as much momentum. A travel mug with a good seal (no spilled coffee held between the knees) and an open handle (hooks over the chair when heading to fill or wash it) is a big help. I push myself up the ramp at our building entrance backwards with my good leg rather than forward with the wheels.

My chair is a smallish version the standard-issue hospital style. I have found it easier to deal with overall with the armrests and footrests removed. If I were going to be doing this over a longer term, I would probably invest in some kind of cargo carrying thing (bag for the bag, sling for underneath, etc.) and cup holder. I haven't found a solution I liked for a price I felt like paying for the short term.

Actually, the scooter idea mentioned somewhere downstream is a good one too. The wheelchair does at least give you some upper body exercise though, and is a lot cheaper. I would guess a chair would be easier to transport in a car as well, but I have no real experience with them.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ooo, thanks for those tips! I like the one about the doorway: simple and effective, but it would have taken me ages to come up with it on my own.

What I haven't mastered even in the slightest is slanted terrain -- where I'm trying to move in a level manner, but (say) my left side's consistently higher than my right. Dear Lord one arm can get tired fighting that. In the parking lot at work, it's slanty enough that I have to brake with the uphill hand, so I'm fighting myself. Bleah!

Mine is a smaller version of hospital style, too. But it's so ancient that the armrests aren't removable. That's okay though. And yeah, a thermos was a godsend right after foot surgery! I could go get my tea, even using a walker!

The scooter would be a wondrous thing if they were cheap. :) I'm gritting my teeth, 'cause the simplest smallest one I might be able to use is $1200, but I'll probably get it eventually anyway. It's true that chairs are a lot easier in the car. My chair (and I presume yours) folds up. Clever design, that. :) The scooter has to be taken apart and hauled into the trunk in pieces. I expect a person gets pretty good at that with a bit of practice.