Gimp social life

[cjsmith]

Another side effect of this week's social whirlwind is that I've blatantly overused my feet twice in less than a week. Twice in a week is very very bad. Part of me is whining that nobody invites me to all this fun stuff the rest of the year, and the saner part of me is replying that that's because I can't go. Part of me is whining that we did all that walking and really flared up my feet, and the saner part is replying that if people stayed within my limitations no one could have gone.

It hurts to realize that I really can't be doing these things. The day in Berkeley was lovely, but it's Wednesday now and I haven't recovered. I'm supposed to be babying my feet in the hopes of slow healing; this week has probably set me back what, a month? Two? If any healing is happening at all, of course.

(Mary, do you have a guess about how far we walked? A mile? It would be interesting to know.)

I will have to face the fact that I am sufficiently physically disabled that it is a factor in my social life.

1) A LJ-friend of mine posted a while back about his frustration walking with someone who was slow. Check, I thought, likely no in-person friendship with this one. I want people to hang out with me because THEY WANT TO, not because they are being virtuous and suppressing their frustration. Heck, I'm angry and frustrated enough about this issue for several people! I don't need others being bothered by me!

2) If I need special consideration for walking and parking and all that jazz, that changes the equation of how fun it is to be around me. It can be annoying when one person is putting limitations on a group's activity. At the end of the day, what matters is whether everybody had a good time. To push that equation over to the positive side, I need to offer more of something else good -- more laughter, more helpfulness, more insight, more creativity, goodness knows what -- than I would need if I didn't have physical limitations butting in.

Therefore, my friends and I will self-select. People who don't want to hang around a gimp won't. People who don't want to wait won't. I'll hang out less with people who seem frustrated or who run on ahead of me, because damn bringing up the rear all the time is humiliating. Those who do choose to be with me will be doing it because it's worth their while... and for right now, I'll be over here figuring out what it is that will make it worth their while. There WILL BE something. There probably already is. For my sanity I want to be aware of what that is, and nurture it.

Comments

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly, 50% of the time. Now it's 10% -- not so bad. BUT! I am so used to being the slow one, trying to catch up or deciding to just forget about 'em, that I'm not used to being too speedy. You'd think I would learn, wouldn't you? You'd think the times I spent all alone on "our" walk, silently cursing the person now a mile ahead of me would create some sort of sensitivity in me... But no, I'm an idiot.

Hugs to you too, sweetie.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

the times I spent all alone on "our" walk, silently cursing the person now a mile ahead of me

Oh no... they didn't, did they? TWO people taking a walk, to have time WITH EACH OTHER, and the other person just wandered away? Please tell me they didn't. :-(

But no, I'm an idiot.

You are a brilliant woman. Hugs in person this evening.

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Oh no... they didn't, did they?

Um, yeah. Indeed 'they' did, on more than one occasion. That's quite romantic, isn't it? 'Let's go for a nice long walk!' And then you spend the whole thing looking at 'their' back. Heh!

I look forward to apologizing in person. Right now, I have to go clean up the cat puke. Ewwww! She's doing the rainbow thing again!

Hey, when do we need to leave for this thing? Do you want me to go alone and let you have a nice quiet evening to yourself?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

In a sense it's very romantic: you were getting a preview of what life with this person would be like. How sweet! Hah.

EWWWWWW! You can leave what the cat did for me if you want. You are absolutely not required to do that chore!

I have no idea when we need to leave. You and Aaron were going to decide on a firm time to meet, right? When do we have to be there?

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

We ended up with 7pm. But I'm probably going to be late -- I'm a muddy mess! I cleaned up my shoes so I'm not tracking mud through your beautiful house, but ewww, my pant legs!

P.S. I married 'them.' ;) He can be like that sometimes. Butthead, that's what.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh crap, yes we're DEFINITELY going to be late. I can't even get to you by seven at this point, much less get both of us up the peninsula.

*snort* Fortunately he's a butthead with some good attributes, eh? :-)

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

I'll call Aaron and tell him we'll be about half an hour late, maybe more. Then I'll go change my damned pants! It's ok, though -- I had fun getting them muddy. ;)

He has some wonderful attributes. Many of them. Sensitivity to the situations of those around him is NOT one of them.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I feel better knowing you'll call. Grf, miscommunication. I had no idea we'd agreed to be there by seven, or I'd've been off and running by now.

I will leave work as soon as I print out directions.

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Yep, totally my fault -- I thought I'd told you the time. Forgot that I hadn't. Grrr. I told you I'm a dunderhead.

He was cool about it. Looks like there will be six of us!

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

I'm cracking up, reading this now :):).

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

*grin* I'm glad you folks weren't too discomboobulated!

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Oh no... they didn't, did they? TWO people taking a walk, to have time WITH EACH OTHER, and the other person just wandered away? Please tell me they didn't. :-(

Um, yeah, I've had that one happen. I move pretty slowly myself. Sigh.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Sigh indeed. :-( I'm a stubborn wench; on a "romantic walk" or a walk "to spend time together" I would have no problem turning right around and heading home when someone rocketed away! But then, I've never been accused of being polite and proper. :-)

[airporter.livejournal.com]

Umm, it's a romantic walk. Grab the bugger's arm and smile!