In-person friends

[cjsmith]

There's no one *physically* close to me who is also *emotionally* close to me. (Except for Rob, obviously.) My previous entry reminds me of this, because giving up square dancing is giving up the majority of my non-work social contact. But this is something I've been puzzling over for months now.

Some of my most caring friends are thousands of miles away. Just as an example, when I had surgery I was overwhelmed by the support I got -- cards, gifts, visits -- from people physically far away. Local people? Made LJ comments. :-) The Thursday night square dance group I call for once a month, to which I showed up still bandaged heavily and leaning on a walker? Had me sign a get well card for someone else! If I needed a demonstration of just how invisible I am in person, that group couldn't have planned it better.

Why is this? What is it that I'm doing?

Maybe I smell bad in person. Maybe my unwillingness to drive long distances during rush hour for social gatherings where I don't know people well is really holding me back. Maybe I don't reach out to others or plan far enough ahead. Maybe I'm just really freakin' shy (and I think there's some truth in that one). Maybe the set of people I am drawn to and the set of people who are drawn to me simply don't have a very big intersection!

I do have some people I would quickly name as friends, who are local to me, but it's interesting to note I don't see them very often -- once every couple of weeks is the *highest* frequency and that happens only when they're not very busy.

What am I doing that leads me to craft this strange unbalance in my social life?

Comments

Actually...

[chiefted]

would love to hang out with you more...

Ok maybe I should say I would actually like to meet in
person, since I am just the other side of the bay
from you. Not using this as an excuse but
with the hours spent at work just runs me ragged.

But I should have been better (not going to say good but think
that fits too) about dropping you a line and seeing if you
needed anything; food, treats, movies, some one to just talk to
or if you needed errands run while you were down
for the count. For that I appologize.

Re: Actually...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

We've never ONCE met?? I thought maybe one time at the Tuesday night coffee, back when that was a going thing. Or maybe I'm making stuff up! Am I hallucinating?

Oh, NO NEED to apologize one bit about anything. I didn't mean to suggest anyone local *should* have done anything different. After all, we've never (or maybe only once) even met! It makes sense. I was merely wondering why I hadn't created closer friendships with people near here. So *no worries*, no need to apologize!!

Re: Actually...

[chiefted]

Nope not once. It has been more of a crossing paths but never meeting in the at Tuesday night coffee thing "Oh she was here last week"

I understand about the not suggesting should have done something different but more that I think we (and its the generic we) get wrapped in our own foibles/lifes that we need to snap out of it and help others.

Think that is where I was going, and its more of a "I feel" thing (my 20/20 hindsight) that I should have offered help or gotten to know folks.

Ok that was way too much rambling, that and my tummy is full from "eating my weight in shrimp" Fish Friday at the Galley.