In-person friends

[cjsmith]

There's no one *physically* close to me who is also *emotionally* close to me. (Except for Rob, obviously.) My previous entry reminds me of this, because giving up square dancing is giving up the majority of my non-work social contact. But this is something I've been puzzling over for months now.

Some of my most caring friends are thousands of miles away. Just as an example, when I had surgery I was overwhelmed by the support I got -- cards, gifts, visits -- from people physically far away. Local people? Made LJ comments. :-) The Thursday night square dance group I call for once a month, to which I showed up still bandaged heavily and leaning on a walker? Had me sign a get well card for someone else! If I needed a demonstration of just how invisible I am in person, that group couldn't have planned it better.

Why is this? What is it that I'm doing?

Maybe I smell bad in person. Maybe my unwillingness to drive long distances during rush hour for social gatherings where I don't know people well is really holding me back. Maybe I don't reach out to others or plan far enough ahead. Maybe I'm just really freakin' shy (and I think there's some truth in that one). Maybe the set of people I am drawn to and the set of people who are drawn to me simply don't have a very big intersection!

I do have some people I would quickly name as friends, who are local to me, but it's interesting to note I don't see them very often -- once every couple of weeks is the *highest* frequency and that happens only when they're not very busy.

What am I doing that leads me to craft this strange unbalance in my social life?

Comments

[psi-star-psi.livejournal.com]

Umm, you work in tech in an area where everyone you know works in tech and has no social life? :-) (Hey, when is Mythbusters going to do a show on this myth?)

aelfie and I would certainly be glad to see you, though we find it challenging to travel about for a different reason. If you would like to visit us, or us to visit you, I am certain something can be worked out. It is only fair to warn that three kids do not lead to a quiet experience.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, there is a touch of that. :-) As amywithani says below, LJ (and I think this can be extended to e-mail) makes us lazy, by providing some amount of interaction with little effort.

I would enjoy meeting the twins. I haven't been over since their birth. Plus I have a bed table thingy to return to you.

After my New England trip sometime?? (next week or the week after, say?)

[psi-star-psi.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a fine time. Let us know when you are back and available, and we'll coordinate.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Will do! I'll be back late Sunday night, so let's chat Monday-or-later. Thanks!