In-person friends

[cjsmith]

There's no one *physically* close to me who is also *emotionally* close to me. (Except for Rob, obviously.) My previous entry reminds me of this, because giving up square dancing is giving up the majority of my non-work social contact. But this is something I've been puzzling over for months now.

Some of my most caring friends are thousands of miles away. Just as an example, when I had surgery I was overwhelmed by the support I got -- cards, gifts, visits -- from people physically far away. Local people? Made LJ comments. :-) The Thursday night square dance group I call for once a month, to which I showed up still bandaged heavily and leaning on a walker? Had me sign a get well card for someone else! If I needed a demonstration of just how invisible I am in person, that group couldn't have planned it better.

Why is this? What is it that I'm doing?

Maybe I smell bad in person. Maybe my unwillingness to drive long distances during rush hour for social gatherings where I don't know people well is really holding me back. Maybe I don't reach out to others or plan far enough ahead. Maybe I'm just really freakin' shy (and I think there's some truth in that one). Maybe the set of people I am drawn to and the set of people who are drawn to me simply don't have a very big intersection!

I do have some people I would quickly name as friends, who are local to me, but it's interesting to note I don't see them very often -- once every couple of weeks is the *highest* frequency and that happens only when they're not very busy.

What am I doing that leads me to craft this strange unbalance in my social life?

Comments

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

I'm also pretty sure you could find someone to carpool with to W & Song, and people head back to South Bay, too. I'd be happy to give you a ride there if I'm headed that way.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's the time, more than the sitting in the driver's seat, but thank you! (Do you go to W&S regularly? I'm not sure I know who goes.)

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

I have been known to go regularly and irregularly. I think I'd like to attend the next one, and don't think I have any conflicts.

Have you been to any W & S, or invited to them by someone already?
If not, and you're interested in going -- I can talk to the hosts, and then consider joining their lj community. We organise rides on there all the time.

I think it would be relatively easy for you to get there with me, but since I live in San Francisco, it's unlikely I'd be giving you a ride home unless I crash with someone in South Bay anyhow. However: I know people who travel from there back to East Palo Alto and Santa Clara on a somewhat regular basis, and I'm sure that they'd be happy to give you a ride back with them. And... if you don't consider EPA to be too far a haul, maybe you could carpool both ways with them. It's something, of course, that one would need to check with them first -- I'm not going to assume that they'd always be able to offer a ride; I just have a hard time seeing them object (especially to someone as lovely as you). =)

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

She's on the invite list.