My last Monday night square dance

[cjsmith]

As I've probably mentioned here before, I am convinced I must give up square dancing. If my feet are ever going to heal, giving them rest is probably a critical step, and if they're not... I just can't hack it. Last night as an experiment I took six pain pills before dancing. It messed up my stomach. My feet were only somewhat better.

This is the latest of several things I love I've had to give up. Running was first, then backpacking, then hiking; somewhere in there "going to a flea market" or "going to the mall" became not worth it; now square dancing is going.

I dance with a group on Monday nights. Oops, I mean I used to dance with a group on Monday nights. Last night was the last time. I'll miss them. I'm already grieving.

I get to square dance one more time, at a dance in New England, this coming weekend. That one is my swan song.

Letting go is *hard*.

Comments

[abenn.livejournal.com]

I feel for you more than I can say. I injured the major tendon in my right calf just over a month ago, and have twice tried to go back to dancing, too soon, as it turned out. I'm already going nuts, being unable to dance, hike, or exercise the way I like (and I'm putting on weight!) and it looks like I'll have to continue to stay off it through the end of the year. I didn't know it would be so hard.

Then again, my injury is still temporary, even if it will last some months. I'm trying to get my mind around how this must feel to you. Maybe us previously active gals should get together and find something fun we can try out. I wish I had the money to learn SCUBA; that'd be perfect right now...

All that said, I really want to recommend to you Terry McBride's book, The Hell I Can't! Terry healed himself of what was supposed to be an incurable condition that would keep him wheelchair bound, but his story is different from most. It took him years, but he points out that taking 16 years to heal is better than being the same or worse 16 years later.

I'd get the link for that for you now, but I'm out of time... I'd love to get together with you and tell you about Terry and the workshop of his that I went to.

Good luck, hon.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It is very, very, very hard for me to go without exercise like this. It's also very emotionally hard for me to recognize that it's probably permanent. GAAAAAAAAAAAAH. And yeah -- my metabolism has fallen way down. I can't eat like I used to, unless I want to shop for new clothes frequently!

Thanks for the book recommendation. I think it's best for now that I stay away from it. I'm getting awfully tired of, and unreasonably angered by, stories of people who heal. I am not healing and I am insanely jealous of people who do. I think it's healthiest for me right now to quit getting myself riled up.

Good luck with your calf injury. I know how hard it is to take it easy. I hope it heals soon and heals up strong.

[abenn.livejournal.com]

Thanks. We can think good thoughts for each other.

And I can understand you wanting to stay away from another book like that right now. You have to do what's best for your own peace of mind.

I know we're not close; even though we've met and I read your journal I feel like I barely know you. And the South Bay seems so far away most of the time. But I would love to have the chance to get to know you better and get to be better friends, if we can.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yes! Trading good thoughts is more powerful than using all of my own for me. :-)

I too would like to get to know you better. We are geographically separated a bit, which is a hurdle. Sometimes you come to the South Bay for work or events, yes? I seem to recall something like that. Occasionally I have something in the East, um North, um Northeast Bay too. We'll just need more alertness to such opportunities than we would need if we were next door.