The mental/emotional side of owie feet

[cjsmith]

Surgery recovery has involved getting help from people in various ways. I, raised to be independent and fiercely self-reliant, am not comfortable on the receiving-help side of things. I'm not necessarily good at receiving help gracefully, I'm not happy knowing I need (or would be far better off with) it, and I'm not skilled at negotiating how best to meet my needs *and* those of my helper.

Surgery recovery has involved me talking a helluva lot and other people listening a helluva lot. I seem to have a bottomless need/desire to be heard and understood. I'm simultaneously trying to remain within the bounds of socially acceptable behavior (eg don't take over the whole conversation at lunch) while basking in this listening that others are giving me like a gift. I wonder what it would be like to have that need/desire of mine fully met? How would I act once I'd gotten there? Would I listen more and listen better to others? Could be.

During this time I've been more comfortable doing unusual things in order to take care of myself a little. Foot aches? Fine, prop it right up there on the desk next to my keyboard. Tired? Go ahead and put my head down on my arms for a few breaths, even at work during working hours. Why am I less willing to do these things when I haven't had foot surgery recently? There's nothing wrong with them. Customers don't walk past my desk. There are no rules about posture for the engineer types while we're in our little dens.

Interesting.

Comments

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Surgery recovery has involved me talking a helluva lot and other people listening a helluva lot. I seem to have a bottomless need/desire to be heard and understood.

I can see that. Being active in the past has been very important to you, and this surgery was a key component in your attempt to get back to that. The need to talk helps your (in my perception) need to understand and may serve as a stress vent to some degree. Speaking as a listener (that sounds weird), I'm glad you've shared what you have about the experience. I find that listening is easy when the person talking and/or the subject are something I care about.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yes, there's a stress vent component too, you're very right.

And yeah -- I too find that listening to others is easy when I'm interested. In a journal we can blather as much as we like, which not only makes it a great place to vent but also lets other people self-select how much they're interested. In person, of course, there's a bit more of a balancing act to do. :-)