Lesson learned: don't go to stores

[cjsmith]

Went to the mall tonight and struck out completely.

Errand 1: Go see if I should buy the next larger size when I get new jeans.

Not only does Eddie Bauer not carry the size I'm wearing -- I knew that -- they now don't carry the entire style. I tried on some weird stretch thing and while it was tight in my hips (aren't they all) there was room for two of me in the waist (story of my life). I asked about the style I have. Ha ha! I'm such a comedian. "You're lucky Eddie Bauer still sells jeans," I could imagine the salesperson saying as I walked out.

Strike one.

Errand 2: New bras.

Not only does Victoria's Secret not carry the size I'm wearing -- is this starting to sound familiar? Sure enough, the saleslady advised me that the style I have is being discontinued. She saw it in the catalog a month or so ago on sale. "Go on line tonight," she said, "and see if there are still any left." I glanced around the store on my way out. Everything else Victoria's Secret sells is so padded you could knock on it and someone would try to answer the door. In fact, in among all that padding none of the bras seemed to have left any room for, well, content. Anyone so crass as to have breasts had better shop somewhere else.

Strike two.

Errand 3: SPANC.

Figured I'd save myself six bucks for shipping. However, despite the fact that this mall is twice the size it was when I last came here, there is now no longer a games store in it. Well, except for electronic X-Box type stuff. Can't buy a deck of cards anywhere, much less a Steve Jackson game.

Strike three.

Guess I've learned my lesson. The days of shopping in person are over. Trying on clothing is so twentieth century. Everyone buys on the web now, daaahlink. (Unless you want a computer game or a bra that doubles as castanets.)

Comments

[aelfie.livejournal.com]

That sounds like my normal trip to the mall.

This is also why I hate to go shopping.

Looked at SPANC, my inner Igor is saying "It must be mine!!!"

FYI the mall near us has a decent game/comic book store.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

If I had found the games store, I would have picked up a copy of SPANC for you guys. I was *pretty* sure you didn't already have it and it seemed so right! Grr for no games store. Gotta go find one (or just break down and mail order already).

[mighty-sam.livejournal.com]

Padded bras = bah, humbug.

I spend my days on a giant college campus in steamy Florida, and hey, I'm a guy, and there's no shortage of wildlife to observe. This padded bra thing has got to go. They are so obvious, so unappealing, that they just look silly. And it creates problems for folks like you and folks like Kim who are just looking for a simple boob harness and not exaggarated fashion accessories.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just want something to store 'em in, yanno? Ah well. Time to check out the custom place in East Bumfuck somewhere-too-far-to-drive-can't-get-there-by-public-transportation-and-can't-park.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

I get all my bras from One Hanes Place (http://www.onehanesplace.com/) and Just My Size (www.justmysize.com). I don't know that JMS will have your band size available, but they have the larger cup sizes. I can't wear underwires, and I can always find something up there I like. If you get on their email list, they send out coupons all the time for 15% off your total order or free shipping.

Jeans suck right now. Don't know why. I need some new ones, but I can't find any, so I'm stuck. Given that jeans are what I wear to work, it really sucks.

I'll let you know what I think of SPANC after we play this weekend :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I would be willing to pay four times the normal bra price if it were NEARBY (no marathon drive) and if it FIT COMFORTABLY. I am in no danger of having to put my money where my mouth is on this claim. :-)

Time to check out the custom place that's too far away.

Yeah, what's WITH jeans? And thank all my lucky stars I don't need anything else. Everything in the stores right now is hot pink or turquoise. EW.

Do post a review of SPANC! With "we need a stenographer"-style comments! I love those.

[fourgates.livejournal.com]

Regarding jeans that never seem to fit properly (particularly the narrow waist vs. hips issue), my wife helygen has had good luck with the custom-fit jeans at Lands' End (http://www.landsend.com/cd/fp/prod/0,,1_2_1930_49397_117915_96362_5:view=59,00.html?CM_MERCH=PAGE_49299).

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oooo, nifty! Thanks for the link!

I've decided I'm not an "hourglass" -- that sounds too normal. I'm a "beach ball stacked on top of another beach ball". :-)

[irascignavojo.livejournal.com]

sorry but... the way you write about it makes this a fun read and instead of consolation you get a smile. But for all three errands it reads as if written by my flatmate, MueckeGuen (who up to now still hasn't joined LJ), you have about the same ratio of hip to waist (her waist is smaller than mine and I'm not used to that in curved grown ups) and if I remember the same cup-size. Plus, she likes Steve Jackson type games, owns lots of them and plays a feline character in our D&D-campaign, so SPANC would be purrfect for her too.

Just recently (two weeks ago) she finally managed to find a good jeans with adjustable waistsize (and everything else fitting).

While I might agree with your "so twentieth century", it's a pity that websites where you can customize your size and enter a detailed profile (or even get 3D-scanned in shops for future online purchases), and can try on clothing on a virtual model of you, are "so pre-dotcom-burst" and seem to have vanished like the vaporware of the time.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I got a smile! I hoped it would be amusing.

I really like the idea of a website where I can enter every last detailed measurement and then try things on virtually. I wish such things were here today to take over from the physical stores.

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

I have all the same problems, but I hate online/mail-order clothes shopping even more than in-person clothes shopping because I can't try things on. Maybe if you stick to one store and buy everything from there you can learn your size, but I've tried on 10's that are too small and 8's that are too big -- in the very same trip into the dressing room! Not to mention jeans that aren't made for any woman who is capable of bearing children (i.e., with hips bigger than their waist), and bras that aren't made for women who like to breathe.

Actually, I've had the best luck with . The regular jeans aren't great but their stretch jeans fit me well and look good on me, plus they're very comfortable and inexpensive. What more could you want?! You might give them a try and see if they work as well for you as they do for me.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I hate online/mail-order clothes shopping even more than in-person clothes shopping because I can't try things on.

Ah, but I can't try anything on in person. They don't have my size. EVER.

I wish shipping were instantaneous and free. Then I wouldn't mind web shopping nearly so much! :-)

hips bigger than their waist

Yeah, what's with that? I would have guessed this was the USUAL case. Looking at the clothing people sell, though, evidently it's not!

The Kmart Store Locator claims there isn't one within twenty miles of me. Hrm. Maybe next time I'm on vacation somewhere...

[kimatha.livejournal.com]

In fact, in among all that padding none of the bras seemed to have left any room for, well, content.

That always surprises me, that they would make padded bras for cup sizes bigger than a B. Why would you need it?

And it is well-nigh impossible to find a 34B bra that is NOT padded. And the ones I did find were too big!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Padding a big bra does seem pretty useless to me. Maybe it's the designer's way of saying "We couldn't figure out how to make this thing have any support."

[just-cyd.livejournal.com]

i'm a c-cup, and every once in a great while i like that busting-out-all-over look, so a padded-push-up type bra is nice. but the other 360 days of the year, no thanks.

i don't mind a little bit of padding, or something, if it'll keep my nipples hidden.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I get that look whether I want it or not, so as for me I truly don't have much use for padding. Now the nipple thing, that I didn't think of. Mine aren't very prominent so I mostly don't care. I know some women ("Is it cold in here?" "Oh, that? I'm always, um, cold.") who might prefer a smoothing of that contour.

[jtidwell.livejournal.com]

Yeah... about Victoria's Secret. What is WITH that place? I can't find anything I like in there anymore. I went in there the other day looking for something I could wear under a very-sheer white blouse, and the saleslady got this frosty smile and said, "Oh, this is a *lingerie* store. We don't have anything like that." Ugh.

Everything I saw in there looked like hooker-wear anyhow. Okay, never mind. I used to be a regular shopper there, but I see no reason to go back.

I still like to buy clothes in person so I can see them, feel them, and try them on. Never did like buying clothes over the Web.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

The VS near me is still perfectly willing to sell respectable and nice-looking underclothes. (Just not to me.) But it sounds like they're going downhill in general, sadly.

I like to buy clothes in person so I can see them, feel them, and try them on too. I no longer have that option. It's the Web for me until I turn into a normal-sized human.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

I have luck with bras at Target. Stretchy with underwires. I hate padding (I'm a 36 C).

And I hate pants shopping. I have hips and a stomach. Most pants that fit have to have elastic waists :(

But I do like hot pink :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Cool! I wonder if Target goes down to a 30 or 28 band size. That's my real problem with bras.

The whole design of pants just doesn't work for women. The standard front zipper on a pair of jeans is six inches deep. That gives a maximum hip minus waist of twelve inches (less if you do a little trig to get the real answer) and that's really not a whole lot.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

They might...but I've never checked. The smallest I recall ever buying was a 34. (When pregnant I got to a 40, and I don't want them that big ever again - unless I have a baby).

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Your band size changed with pregnancy? Hmmmm, wild. (I suppose it depends on what the particular manufacturer decides the number/letter combo really means.) Me, I gots boobies but I gots no ribs.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

It's normal - they grow in all directions. Mine seemed to have shrunk back to the size they were. Yet I'm finding some tops out now too tightly cut (but I have a barrel chest, that may have something to do with it.)

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

I hate shopping days like that. But, then, I hate shopping in general. :) Especially for clothes. In fact, I pretty much limit myself to two stores in a day, no matter how many things I need. I figure I can survive two disappointments, but three would just depress the heck out of me. :)

I'm not a big expert on bras, obviously. But I don't really see the point of padding them, myself. But, then, I'm not a boob guy, generally. It's not the first thing I notice walking down the street anyway. Which is not to say that I didn't get a certain voyeuristic thrill out of seeing your friends list discuss their boobs. ;)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I like your two-stores-a-day rule. Perhaps I would do well to adopt something similar.

Which is not to say that I didn't get a certain voyeuristic thrill out of seeing your friends list discuss their boobs.

Isn't it incredible what you can find on the Internet? :-)

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

Indeed, and in the most surprising places. I mean, it's easy enough to find a website devoted to pictures of boobs, but that holds little (I'd be lying if I said no) thrill for me. But to stumble on such a discussion where you least expect it and among people who would rarely do it, there's a weird thrill to that. ;)