social life

[cjsmith]

Here are a few things I notice.

- anyone who's interested in spending time with me becomes less interested once they get to know me
- the people who know me best have the least time to spend with me
- if I stop reaching out and making invitations, I stop seeing anyone (there's one exception here)

What that tells me is either a) I'm going mad, and imagining observable facts, or b) I do not provide value. (Long term, that is. Short term -- people who don't know me yet -- I think people like the tits. But long term, they see what else comes with, and it's no longer a net win.)

I have to learn how to be a net win, how to provide better value for time spent.

Comments

[firecat]

I'm rarely in the mood for parties, but sometimes I reciprocate party invites with a one-on-one invitation. Or I throw my own party, which is more fun for me than going to other people's, because I know everyone.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

sometimes I reciprocate party invites with a one-on-one invitation

[nod] good thought. I think my brain is twisting things in such a way that that would "count" as me reaching out more, which says a lot about why I got to feeling the way I did when I posted.

[firecat]

I think of doing that as "reaching out more" too. But in the past I liked one-on-one dates better than parties so it made sense to do it. These days my preferences aren't as clear-cut.