Realization

[cjsmith]

I wouldn't respect myself if I deliberately took the good end of an unfair deal. If I knew that's what it was and I took it, I wouldn't respect that. That's not the kind of friend or partner I want to be.

So, no wonder I don't often wind up with the good end of unfair deals. And no wonder I am shocked or hurt or judgmental when someone I otherwise respect wants to do [what APPEARS to me to be] exactly that.

Duh.

(What portions of this can I let go of?)

Comments

[wldrose.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the HIGH HORSE CLUB

Great view, but uncomfortable.

I am a founding member.

Ash

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yah, I think I've been up here so long my butt has gone numb.

Re:

[wldrose.livejournal.com]

the thing is I have never understood those folks on the ground, has caused lots of probs.

Ash

[firecat]

I wouldn't respect myself if I deliberately took the good end of an unfair deal.

Ooh, I recognize that T-shirt.

In fact, it's in an entire drawer full of T-shirts about "holding back" in general.

It's not that I feel unworthy, it's just that I don't feel I'm more worthy than other people. But then if someone comes along who does...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It's not that I feel unworthy, it's just that I don't feel I'm more worthy than other people. But then if someone comes along who does...

Bingo. That hits the nail on the head.

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

How is the deal unfair? I mean, if a person comes up to me and makes me an offer that looks great for me and sucky for them, I'll restate the terms to make sure I heard them. If they want to go forward with it, how do I know what all they are getting out of it?

At some point, I've got to assume I'm dealing with people that don't need to have someone watch out for them.o

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, people aren't offering me the good end of the deal. They're offering the bad end, and being genuinely disappointed and confused and sometimes hurt that I don't want it. If I were in their position, I like to think that I would at least try to make it more fair.