Facebook

[cjsmith]

I joined the dark side.

That thing could eat up the entire rest of my life. Fortunately, I tend to lose interest in between clicking on something and seeing the results.* This allows me to continue to do homework.

Now I think I need the basic two-minute tutorial. Rob's been over the initial setup with me, which is good, or my e-mail inbox would be dead. But I don't really know how to use anything yet.

- When somebody does a "wall-to-wall" at you, how do you reply to their comment?
- What in blazes do you do with "gifts" (not!) of "things" (virtual) that want you to enable some app and donate even more of your time? Is ignoring these considered rude?
- When someone you do not recognize at all asks to friend you, what is the socially acceptable way to say "I haven't the foggiest who you are"?

_______________________
*If you ever want to know what a web site is made of, use it with a two-year-old browser. Whoo-eee. It's like a cardiac stress test for web code. The patient might look and feel just fine most of the time, but this will highlight every clogged artery.

Comments

[densaer.livejournal.com]

1. Write on their wall .. it threads the conversation.
2. I ignore them ...I don't see the point of the damn things.
3. I ignore them - life's too short.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

1. It does? Huh, I'm clearly still pretty new at this. Stupid question as follow-on to previous stupid question: How do I find my wall?

2 & 3. Phew. :-) Thanks.

[chiefted]

Yes I am there too (Ted and my last night).

if you are doing a wall to wall the comment block should be right at the top.

If you want just ignore the gifs and things. I have a bunch in my inbox there that I haven't had time to respond to.

Socially acceptable way, least to me would be "I haven't the foggiest idea who you are".

Now if I could just get that whole "Really Dad, I don't want you reading about my private life" through his head
everything will be just fine.

Note: No seriously my Dad has a facebook account along with my stepmom, needless to say I haven't friended them back. I don't want to have the "poly" discussion with them yet. Explaining it to little sis was hard enough
thanks.

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

what desaer said.

I've ignored 99.9% of the miscellaneous crap people sent me, including birthday reminder requests.

I've also asked a number of people who they are and why they are 'friending' me. Turns out I have the same name as someone else they knew in their dark pasts. Which is what this is all about...finding people.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, gotcha. As a Smith, I'll probably get a generous share of same-name attempts.

[ckd]

If I get an application request from anything where the info page says "This application was not developed by Facebook", I just block that app. It makes things very quiet.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Does an app developed by Facebook have better security, or better time-investment-payback, or something? Me, I'm wondering just how much time I have to do things like collect virtual eggs, virtually water virtual plants, or give people virtual starfish.

[elgecko.livejournal.com]

I'm alexander gecko there. =)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Gotcha. If I don't find you through Jen in the next hour or so, maybe you'll find me through her. :-)

ed: huh, not finding you in her list wiht last name gecko. Find me maybe? I'm Cj (yeah, capitalized wrong) Smith.

[eichin.livejournal.com]

Out of curiousity, what inspired this? (I'm taking the Audrey Hepburn/"Regina Lampert"[1] approach, although I am on linkedin - that's about existing professional connections, though.) I ask because it's entirely your fault that I'm on livejournal :-)


[1] Charade, 1963 - "I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else."

[530nm330hz.livejournal.com]

I first joined Facebook because it's where my sister posts locked pictures of her kids --- but I've been rediscovering friends from high school and college with whom I'd fallen out of touch. It's been remarkable reconnecting with people.

[lrc.livejournal.com]

I tried to friend you, but there are pages and pages of cj smith.
I also tried to find you by your bayarea.net email, didn't work

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, bayarea.net is dead. Try my lj name at my lj name dot org, unless I find you somehow. :-)

[excessor.livejournal.com]

Wall-to-wall: There's an item underneath the poster's name called "Write on person's Wall". Click that. By the way, everyone can read that. Only messages to/from your inbox are private—in the same way that email is “private.”

Gifts: if it's rude to ignore them, then I'm rude. They're typically not that interesting and they have little entertainment value.

When someone asks to friend me, I just send a note back and say, "I'm sorry, but I can't remember how I know you. Can you refresh my memory?" If someone gets offended, it's too bad. I once asked someone that and the person wrote back: "Oh, I saw your picture and think you're cute." Good enough for me.

You should read this:
http://www.allfacebook.com/2009/02/facebook-privacy/

(which I got from allanh).

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ooo, thanks for the pointer!

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

When someone you do not recognize at all asks to friend you, what is the socially acceptable way to say "I haven't the foggiest who you are"?

I like "I'm sorry, I'm terrible with names. Could you remind me where I know you from?" which often doesn't actually help but hasn't put anyone off so far that I know of. (Not Facebook-specific, just in general.)

[platypus]

It's not rude to ignore application requests. If you don't, you'll end up doing nothing but accepting little jpegs all day. From the few I accepted, I've seen that the applications themselves encourage you to spam your friends ("okay, now pick 127 people to give little plants to!"). I finally un-signed up from superpoke when I realized one of my friends was sending things to 400+ people at a time, and every time she did it I'd get a little red activity alert. Grr.

But I do enjoy the Scrabble, and hearing from grade school friends :).

[mithriltabby]

• You reply on their wall. Heavens only know if there’s a way to thread it back together again... Facebook is designed to facilitate superficial interaction, not real conversation.
  
• I don’t know if it’s considered rude, but I often just ignore them.
  
• I message them back: “I’m sorry, I don’t recognize your name. Under what handle did we meet?” If they can’t tell me how I know them, I reply “My policy is to only friend people I actually know.”
  

[janetl.livejournal.com]

The most unsettling thing about Facebook is that Everyone Is There. It's disconcerting -- teh internets used to be kind of exclusive. I just joined in December, and I'm still trying to figure out this mix-up of nephews, sisters, co-workers and friends. I'm more in touch with my out of town relatives than I've been in years, which (for me) is a positive.

The stream-of-consciousness status updates can be amusing, and brief comments threads on them are genuine, linked threads.

Using the "wall-to-wall" link does make those a bit more intelligible, but I don't think whole wall post thing makes much sense.

Step through that "10 privacy settings every Facebook user should know" pointed out above -- it's very helpful. If you don't want your grandma to see what you're doing, use the friend list feature to make some posts only visible to people on a particular list.

When friend A sends you an app, one of the options is to block that app. I always block, which turns down that request from A, and also means I'll never see another request for that app from friends B through Z. I think that when you ignore a request, or block an app, nothing actually goes back to the person who sent it. They dropped a pebble into a well, and just never hear a splash.

[daphnep.livejournal.com]

They dropped a pebble into a well, and just never hear a splash.


I love this metaphor!

Yeah, the GOOD thing about Facebook is that you don't have to even have that "sorry, I don't know you!" explanatory conversation, at all. You can just "ignore" the friend request, and they won't even be notified of it.

[butterfly-smile.livejournal.com]

Welcome to "our" world.
Facebook is great. I post alot more there than here, except for somethings.

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

IT IS EXTREMELY RUDE TO IGNORE A VAMPIRE WARS REQUEST AS IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME IN THE UNIVERSE!!!

(actually, it's a complete clone of every other "foo wars" game out there, and is totally dumb, I am just irrationally obsessed with it and you're free to ignore any and all application requests)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

LOL! :-)

[jb98.livejournal.com]

I ignore all application requests because I'm not interested in allowing them to access my account or friend info.

If someone asks to friend me and I know them and don't want to friend them, I ignore the request.

If I don't recognize a person who's requesting to friend me, I ask them where I know them from and apologize for not putting together names and faces very well sometimes.

If it turns out they are a friend of a friend or some other connection where I don't actually know them, I explain my policy of only friending actual friends and tell them it's not personal to them.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Link? There's way too many CJ Smiths on Facebook. Or you can look for me ;-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I don't know how to link yet; my home page says "http://www.facebook.com/home.php?" in the address bar, which I'm sure is not particularly useful! Try my LJ handle at my LJ handle dot org.

[tryslora]

I don't even get emails for the application requests. I stopped them. I get emailed if someone friends me, or someone wants me to come to an event or a group. Otherwise, nope, not a peep. I have to remember to go through and officially "ignore" a bunch of stuffs.

And I'm on there, if you want to friend me. I don't do much there, save um, occasionally remember to upload pics. Go on, giggle a the pics of me (and thus my parents) from 30+ years ago...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Found ya! High school plus graduation year = great search feature.

(And oh man, DAN BALLISTIC MISSILE is on there too!)

[fuzzygruf.livejournal.com]

Facebook sucks.
It does have some entertainment value.
If you like to connect with people from kindergarten, etc., it's great. (I hate the past.)
If I don't recognize someone, I ask "What added value do you give me?"
If I see someone I recognize, I ask myself "What added value do they give me?"
(Not really. Hitting ignore is a fun way to let off steam.)
It's great for shocking relatives.
It's security and ethics are super scary.
Welcome to facebook!

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I like it as a passive stay-in-touch site. I participate in some of those games/"gift" applets, but don't send them to anyone who has asked people not to include them, nor do I feel offended if anyone ignores any requests I send. I do my own share of ignoring requests.

BTW, how am I supposed to find you among over 500 "CJ Smith"s? Or, if you want, you can add me. :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

You found me! :-)

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

I use it as a way to keep up with people....thankfully, most of them know me well enough that, after my initial "ooh, shiny!" with the apps, I ignore them all now. :)

Feel free to friend me.

[hnybny.livejournal.com]

I'm there too.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I haven't found you yet. I'll try through Deb.

[tshuma]

1) you have to go to their profile page and write on their wall to respond, the one part of that interface that seems clunky to me.
2) ignoring stuff is not rude. it is a mandatory thing in order to survive. (Even better, when you get these invitations to gt stuff in your notifications, there is a small text link to "Block this application" rather than just ignore it. It does nothing to your friends, but you no longer can be sent such thing from that application. I love that feature.)
3) You can send a note back to them saying "I'm sorry, I don't think I know you." or you can ignore the invite. Either works. You will get a lot of false friend invites from people. I've only sent one and had it returned with a note asking about it, and although the gentleman is someone I know well enough to feel comfortable having let drive my vehicle and have been kayaking with, he either genuinely doesn't remember me or that or has some other reason to have decided I didn't meet his standards for Facebook friends. I don't sweat it. But I have gotten a lot of random people inviting me, including folks I'm sure I've never even met.

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

1) you have to go to their profile page and write on their wall to respond, the one part of that interface that seems clunky to me.

Actually, if you're looking at your own wall there should be a "reply" link under their wall message.

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

ee! *pounce!* I'm there too!

My policy of FB app-sending:
Don't bother sending me widgets besides pictures, which I do appreciate. I only play D&D Tiny Adventures, because it is refreshingly hands-off. The other games are too much like little tamagotchis, and I already have enough attention-grabbers as it is.

[abqdan.livejournal.com]

I ignore most of everything, including friend requests, unless I really want to keep track of people. I find it especially useful for relatives - quick updates, with no need for long phone calls or emails!

And don't get me started on web designers who feel they must include every new bell and whistle in their design, regardless of functionality. And who forget that 60% of America still uses dialup! This is a major consideration in my designs, especially for the University, with its distributed population on pueblos and isolated farms doing distance learning.

They just don't get it; the web is about information sharing, not prettiness!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

And don't get me started on web designers who feel they must include every new bell and whistle in their design, regardless of functionality. And who forget that 60% of America still uses dialup!

Amen! Not to mention whatever fraction of the other 40% is constrained to one browser or another, or even one version of one browser, by other considerations.

To give some credit, Facebook does seem to be a bit more responsive early in the morning (west coast time). Maybe it's a server-side issue and they get busy during the day.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

There are a few applications (flowers, gifts, etc.) I sort of like and have installed ("Flair," a couple of word games, not much else) and I ignore the rest. It's not rude.
It's socially acceptable to ignore friend requests. Though I friended some friends-of-friends or interesting people at first, I really don't have time for that, and FB is pretty much the only place online you can connect my life across all areas, where I have my phone number, etc. -- so from now on, I'm sticking almost entirely to people I not only already know, but want to keep up with on FB, as opposed to other places.