Torture

[cjsmith]

Yesterday's free lunch: pasta in assorted sauces, with bread and butter.
Today: someone brought in Krispy Kremes and left them by the microwave.

I don't for one minute think other people should have to change what they're doing for my comfort, but my God, I never knew how AWFUL this sort of thing could be. I am getting a major education here.

edit: AND there's an Enforced Fun at the office tomorrow! Guess what we're having! Pizza and ice cream! I think I feel an attack of bubonic plague coming on. *eyeroll*

Comments

[mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com]

Have you never dieted?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Not where cheating could make me seriously chronically ill, no. Also never when I've had to eat my own cooking, and also never when I've not known how many months/years I'd have to be this strict. This is an eye-opener.

[edit: I wonder if the worst part of this might be that I'm viewing it as a stricture imposed upon me, rather than a choice I am making. If I viewed it as a choice, and if I truly believed I could get back the ability to run or hike in trade for the ability to eat most food in the USA, then it might be a choice I'd be happy making.]

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

when i was a kid, i had severe tonsil infections, and couldn't eat icecream. my sympathy is therefore everything it should be!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ow!

Do you still have your tonsils? I'm just curious, as the subject came up the other night. I was trying to explain what a tonsillith was, and it's kind of hard to explain to someone who doesn't have any memory of having tonsils. :-)

[composerjk.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my world. Sorry. :(

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I'm sorry it's that way for you, too.

How long does it take before you have, oh, mental calluses to protect you a bit?

[shoutingboy.livejournal.com]

Steak tomorrow! Steak tomorrow! Steak tomorrow!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

YESSSSS!

[fyellin.livejournal.com]

So what are you allowed to eat?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Most meats, not-starchy vegetables, cheese, and eggs. It would take a far better cook than I to make something good out of that.

[airporter.livejournal.com]

Bring in some Anthrax just for them?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Life will give each of them their own boot to the head eventually, I'm sure. Life has a way of doing that. But it may be a while.

[platypuslord.livejournal.com]

I like the icon.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That was at a party at juvernaz's house. I was clearly having a good time! :-)

[just-cyd.livejournal.com]

ah, yes. i know this well. *heavy sigh* is there any way to avoid the Enforced Fun? scrape the toppings off the pizza?

oh! i recommend Jay Robb protein powder. chocolate or vanilla are pretty good. i'm adding it to my stash at work for emergencies.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

And rinse off the sauce as well? (I know of exactly one place that makes pizza without sugar in the sauce, and that place is my kitchen.)

Jay Robb, eh? Thanks. So far, peanuts are my emergency stash of choice.

This wouldn't be nearly so bad if it were a "diet". If it were a diet, I could make mistakes. If it were a diet, I could choose whether or not to stop. And most of all, if it were a diet, I could eat ten times more variety than I can eat now. I am getting *really* tired of this.

it sucks, it really sucks

[moriamerri.livejournal.com]

okay, having faced squarely that IT SUCKS, and nothing will make it NOT SUCK, let's revisit the CHOICE thing.

In addition to the choice you mention (choosing this particular food plan) it is also possible to have CHOICE within it. (Yes, I did already say it sucks, remember?) Of the limited foods, you can CHOOSE those you want and like better and how much of them and various combinations etc.

If it were me, I would Really Try to make a hobby out of the "acceptable foods list". Which, um, I think you have already done, based on your egg cookery comments (plus, I think it is just your MO in life :) ). So, maybe you've exhausted this one. (By "hobby" I just mean the studying of ALL possible acceptable items, with the attitude one would have if it were a game -- how many more things can you come up with to add? How many can you spice/combine/prepare in ways that move them up a notch or two in desirability? How many of them are available in cans that can be kept in desk without spoilage? and so on)

It's just that I've found that the choice thing really can help a lot more than would logically be expected. I can happily tolerate not eating a lot of things as long as I LIKE what I AM eating. Of course this is harder if the list of foods to eat is shorter (see: IT SUCKS, above).

Non-starchy vegetables with cheese seems promising? (list of cheeses, list of vegs)

I take it peanuts are okay -- can you have the rest of the nuts? (list of nuts including exotic stuff like pine nuts and macadamia). If so that would also imply you can have (homemade) nut/seed milks? Also non-starchy veg probably includes most kinds of sprouts (I know this is a weird comment, but I'm on a sprout kick right now, so I think of that.....)

Can you have veg juices and do you like them?

Sounds like you are way too busy for adventures with trying new vegetables? (Asian markets have a LOT of stuff that's adventurous to me....)

Are mushrooms "non starchy"? Mushrooms are VERY flavorful and come in many varieties. The canned ones aren't as good but are still worht eating and/or adding to other things.

I can go on like this a lot as long as the topic is food..... (sorry if it is unhelpful) (double sorry if it sounds "perky" -- not meant to.....)

Re: it sucks, it really sucks

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

What I clearly need to do is learn how to use herbs and spices in the kitchen. I'm having a really hard time with the "I LIKE what I AM eating" thing; almost every pre-prepared food is illegal, and I am just not a cook. With my spare time, I would be happier if I could fix that.

I can have pretty much any nuts, and yes, I can have sprouts. I don't know if I can have nut/seed milks, but I can ask in a little under two weeks. Sadly, I detest mushrooms. :-) Also broccoli - extremely bitter to me. But I adore spinach in just about any form. And there are sauces that don't use sugar and starch, at least if you're willing to make them yourself. I wonder if people ever put pesto on spinach.

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I think that after a few months of this diet, you can probably phase a few things in for a little while and treat yourself to others. I can say that in my experience, I ate the limited diet for a while and then made sure I treated myself to dark chocolate every couple of days and I was fine.

I only began really having problems with my stomach and intestines recently -- after about 18 months straight of high-dose antibiotics and not having enough probiotics regularly. Just moving to taking more probiotics, drinking more water, eating yoghurt, and eating more small meals throughout the day -- I've been doing much better.

I can eat just about anything, but I really should be more mindful about the sugars and carbs on an ongoing basis.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

phase a few things in for a little while and treat yourself to others

That would be heaven. I seem to be okay with the 85% dark chocolate, which does make some sense when you realize that there are carbs in everything, including glycogen stores in muscle tissue (meat). So clearly very small amounts aren't hosing me. Or maybe they are. I don't know if I would be able to tell.

One bite of what everyone else is having would help a whole lot, I think. But I want to talk to the doc before I start unilaterally disobeying the guidelines. I sure don't want ANOTHER hard-to-cure chronic ailment.

[aelfie.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my world! =) I feel your pain.

Changing your view point to "I'm choosing to do this so I don't feel like complete crap" is EXTREMELY helpful. It doesn't mean that you won't get frustrated at times, but it does help. And depending on how crappy you feel...it can help a lot. I do the "Hrmmm. I can enjoy that chocolate cake with the lovely butter cream frosting for 15 or so minutes...and then pay for it for the next 3 days. I don't think so!"

It should get easier. Or at least I hope it does!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I hope it gets easier too. What the heck can ya EAT? You're a way better cook than I am, I expect; what would you cook if you couldn't have ANY grains of ANY kind?

[edit: doh. I can haz grammar.]

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Hugs and sympathies. My dietary regimen isn't as strict as yours but I can relate to the "if I eat very much of these things that everyone else is scarfing in abundance, I will have pain."

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I honestly think that if I could have ONE BITE, I'd be worlds better off emotionally. :-( Not to say that you're in a fun or pleasant spot either. :-(

[layer.livejournal.com]

welcome to my world of pain. :(

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Indeed. Yeast control diets are the worst thing I've ever tried. Looking back, now that I know what I know, I'm amazed you can have brown rice or Thai sauces. I know three people who are doing yeast control style eating, and they all eat a lot more starch than I'm currently eating. (My coworker ate white flour pasta in alfredo sauce at Monday's lunch.) It is quite possible that I am being way too strict on this; I'll ask my doctor when I see her in a week and a half. If I am, that would be a serious win.