baa

[cjsmith]

I mostly hate memes, but I've seen some hilarious incarnations of this one. I shall strive to do justice to it. Here goes:

Ask me a question. I'll tell you a lie.

Comments

[ericsilverbear.livejournal.com]

Will you sleep with me?

{{snickers}}

[ladycelia.livejournal.com]

Pirates or Ninjas?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I should in all fairness let you know that I snore like an asthmatic lion.

[fuzzygruf.livejournal.com]

Are you kidding me?

[erikred.livejournal.com]

Why did you give up flying?

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Why is the sky blue?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Bringing it a bit more up to date, I predict one hundred years before people are asking "Slavers or Genociders?" We'll have Talk like a Pimp Day and an Ask a Nazi podcast.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It turned color in the sixties, and it was pretty grainy for a while there, too.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm the GOOD twin.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

On one of my long solo flights I stopped at an airport along the north coast, a beautiful little place, and I met this guy...

It was so sweet while it lasted, but when it ended I was heartbroken. I couldn't bear to look at an airplane again.

[platypuslord.livejournal.com]

Where did I leave my cellphone?

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

What's your favorite thing to do?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I, uh... well, it's, uh...

...under my bed. When you were hiding there that time Rob walked in.

Evil twin, eh?

[airporter.livejournal.com]

K. What's the most unusual place you've done "it?"

(Breathlessly awaiting the lie...)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Rule all within my view, with a benevolent hand.

Re: Evil twin, eh?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

That would be in my left ear, Bob.

Re: Evil twin, eh?

[ericsilverbear.livejournal.com]

Well, she mentioned that little airport along the Northcoast... Shelter Cove, it was. There is a part of the tarmac overlooking the beach. Her world was rocked as the waves crashed against the rocky shore. All I can say is that I'm still pulling gravel out of my bum.

[deege.livejournal.com]

Do square dance phantoms feel pain when I step on them?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

They scream in agony. Phantoms are the condemned souls of square dancers who have sinned.

[airporter.livejournal.com]

Oy, I'm in deep then. :)

[shoutingboy.livejournal.com]

What's the best concert you've ever gone to?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh, without question, the first time Mozart played his own K.386 alternate rondo, in late 1782. What style he had! What empathy with the audience! I brought Ronald Neame with me, and I hope that that concert may have had some influence on the score chosen for one of his movies.

[rfrench.livejournal.com]

Wait, you're suppose to lie, aren't you?

Or is that lay?

[rfrench.livejournal.com]

Well at least it was nice and clean after the Roomba got through with it.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

The reader can make his own decisions as to my honesty.

(It's Frito.)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I on the other hand have never made a mistake while square dancing!

[jcgbigler.livejournal.com]

How would you respond to this question in response to this meme?

[drdaly.livejournal.com]

Have you stopped beating Rob yet?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I couldn't possibly respond at all in any way.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

No.

[elflet.livejournal.com]

So you represent the lollypop guild?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

They kicked me out. I'm... *sob*... too short!

[fyellin.livejournal.com]

Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried?

[apparentparadox]

What's your favorite color?

[brooksmoses]

Who are you?

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

This is one of my favorite comments ever.

[allanh.livejournal.com]

Are you telling the truth now?

[fyellin.livejournal.com]

Why does the phantom always get to my spot before I do? Who do I politely ask him/her/it to move?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

In Grant's tomb. Duh.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I blame my coworker. (She claims pirates win, but she was a technical architect for Napster, so I contend that she is biased.)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Let's face it: you're just slow.

In square dancing there are two groups of people: the quick and the dead. So... hey, Frank, how do I politely ask a phantom to move?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I am the Queen of Charm and Strange. (Earlier I was Princess of Top and Bottom. You wouldn't BELIEVE the weight loss program. I feel so free!)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Blooooooood.

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

What are you wearing?


Oh, no, wait, that's what I asking when people promise to tell me the truth. ;)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

A chain mail bikini!

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

Too bad it's not the day to toss all recycables. :)