Whine du jour

[cjsmith]

Every time I think I'm really done with the whole psychological adjustment to the gimp thing, I uncover a new pus-filled boil I hadn't previously seen.

Today it's "But I can't possibly be physically attractive if I'm gimpy."

Never mind that there exist people who are gimpy whom I find physically attractive. Never mind that there exist people who claim to find me physically attractive. The only thing my seamy grimy mind can come up with is that if I was attractive before, and things are different and worse now, then I must be unable to be attractive ever again. Therefore anyone who claims to be attracted to me is lying. (Especially if such a person has always been attracted to able-bodied, athletic folk.) And let's just throw in some cultural standards here, shall we? Say, let's flip through a men's magazine or watch the latest Dove commercial [WARNING: potentially disturbing imagery]? That definitely adds some flavor to this stew.

[Edited to add: I'm not fishing for compliments. Truly. I already know there exist people who claim to find me physically attractive. This particular pusboil is not necessarily logical!]

Like everything else involved in the foot thing, I'll get past this one too. There are a lot of complex components to it. I'll fix what's fixable, learn to disbelieve what doesn't make sense, and accept the parts of it that are real. But dangit. I'm tired. Can I be done with this crap? Soon?? Can this be the last one, please?

Comments

Re: I know you weren't fishing for compliments, but I'll leave one anyway.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I think we tend to find things about ourselves that we wish were different (especially if we feel somehow we could have changed them) and generate this feeling that this must be somehow unattractive to others. [...] Inside somewhere I am unhappy enough with myself over the matter that it influences how I perceive people perceiving me.

Absolutely. Very good points.

Of anyone on the planet, I'm probably the one most unhappy about my foot health. Naturally it looks like a Big Awful Thing to me. It's all too easy for me to inflate it into a Big Awful Thing when I think about how others see me. Similarly, I'm the most unhappy about the side effects such as lack of physical fitness, and I imagine that as a terrible thing when I think about how others see me.

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

I think everybody would be much healthier (and the overwhelming majority much happier) if they could see themselves as somebody else sees them just for a few minutes. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm inclined to agree. And the other few percent would bathe, so it's a win all around! ;-)

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

Haha. Indeed.