Whine du jour

[cjsmith]

Every time I think I'm really done with the whole psychological adjustment to the gimp thing, I uncover a new pus-filled boil I hadn't previously seen.

Today it's "But I can't possibly be physically attractive if I'm gimpy."

Never mind that there exist people who are gimpy whom I find physically attractive. Never mind that there exist people who claim to find me physically attractive. The only thing my seamy grimy mind can come up with is that if I was attractive before, and things are different and worse now, then I must be unable to be attractive ever again. Therefore anyone who claims to be attracted to me is lying. (Especially if such a person has always been attracted to able-bodied, athletic folk.) And let's just throw in some cultural standards here, shall we? Say, let's flip through a men's magazine or watch the latest Dove commercial [WARNING: potentially disturbing imagery]? That definitely adds some flavor to this stew.

[Edited to add: I'm not fishing for compliments. Truly. I already know there exist people who claim to find me physically attractive. This particular pusboil is not necessarily logical!]

Like everything else involved in the foot thing, I'll get past this one too. There are a lot of complex components to it. I'll fix what's fixable, learn to disbelieve what doesn't make sense, and accept the parts of it that are real. But dangit. I'm tired. Can I be done with this crap? Soon?? Can this be the last one, please?

Comments

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

Just recognizing that the problem is a problem of your own thinking patterns rather than of your actual physical being is not the automatic solution - it should be, though, doesn't it feel like? Dammit! but it really helps! So, looked at properly, you're halfway there!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It definitely helps; I can't imagine getting through this without that crucial step. But I sure do wish, sometimes, that I had a couple of magical switches in my brain -- the "MAKING SENSE: YES" one and the "GETTING THE HECK OVER YOURSELF: YES" one -- so I could simply flip them and be done with it!