A definition from the wise and thought-ful
melanie
Piggyback Favoring: where a person first asks you for a very small, simple favor, and then as you go to do it, it subtly grows and grows and grows one tiny little increment at a time until it becomes a HUGE FUCKING DEAL, and then you're an asshole if you stop when you realize what is happening and back away.
Good one! I love having a short, handy name for this all-too-prevalent pattern.
Piggyback Favoring: where a person first asks you for a very small, simple favor, and then as you go to do it, it subtly grows and grows and grows one tiny little increment at a time until it becomes a HUGE FUCKING DEAL, and then you're an asshole if you stop when you realize what is happening and back away.
Good one! I love having a short, handy name for this all-too-prevalent pattern.
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The lesson: always charge. That way you get to keep your friends.
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Melanie is wise...
the noive of some people!
"Piggyback favor" sounds too fun. I vote for "hagfish favor" instead.
Re: the noive of some people!
*pouts*
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He'd ask me to come over for help with something, and while I was there, there would be two hours worth of "one more thing". One time when he asked me to help him with something, I asked what else he'd need me to do, because my schedule was rather tight, and he got pissed off and hung up on me.
Not one of the things that I miss about him.
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Ugh.
I'm sure that the reason people do this is that it is very effective, and I'm sure that the reason it is effective is that it is hard to defend against. It's been a while since I had a pattern of this showing up in my life, but now it's coming back, and I'm learning -- my, is this ever easier with experience under my belt! -- to identify quickly the folks or the situations I simply can't ever say yes to.
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I believe this is the definition of wisdom. Its acquisition is painful, its dispensation a pleasure, and most people ignore it. Silly, silly people.
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