cjsmith: (Default)
cjsmith ([personal profile] cjsmith) wrote2007-09-24 03:17 pm

Piggyback Favoring

A definition from the wise and thought-ful [livejournal.com profile] melanie

Piggyback Favoring: where a person first asks you for a very small, simple favor, and then as you go to do it, it subtly grows and grows and grows one tiny little increment at a time until it becomes a HUGE FUCKING DEAL, and then you're an asshole if you stop when you realize what is happening and back away.

Good one! I love having a short, handy name for this all-too-prevalent pattern.

[identity profile] ladycelia.livejournal.com 2007-09-24 10:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Closely related to "piggy-back due bills" which is free work promised that escalates until there is no longer any profit in a deal. And is also one of the reasons that I'm cranky today.

[identity profile] cjsmith.livejournal.com 2007-09-25 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
Blegh. I hate days like that. Not-A-Doctor CJ prescribes Madeira and the purr of a cat.

[identity profile] ladycelia.livejournal.com 2007-09-25 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
Ah--Madeira and a cat will have to wait until after school. But school is just as good as Madeira and a cat!
ext_3386: (Default)

[identity profile] vito-excalibur.livejournal.com 2007-09-25 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, yes.

The lesson: always charge. That way you get to keep your friends.

[identity profile] mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com 2007-09-24 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I call that the "if you give a mouse a cookie" syndrome.

Melanie is wise...

the noive of some people!

[identity profile] racerxmachina.livejournal.com 2007-09-24 10:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I usually use "if you give a mouse a cookie" to describe the slippery slope problem of doing a special favor to someone who then turns around and tells 20 other someones about the free cookies.

"Piggyback favor" sounds too fun. I vote for "hagfish favor" instead.

Re: the noive of some people!

[identity profile] tenacious-snail.livejournal.com 2007-09-24 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
but they aren't wanting jam to go with it

*pouts*

[identity profile] billeyler.livejournal.com 2007-09-24 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
(blink, blink)

[identity profile] cjsmith.livejournal.com 2007-09-25 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
(perky grin)

[identity profile] lrc.livejournal.com 2007-09-25 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
I used to call that visiting my dad.

He'd ask me to come over for help with something, and while I was there, there would be two hours worth of "one more thing". One time when he asked me to help him with something, I asked what else he'd need me to do, because my schedule was rather tight, and he got pissed off and hung up on me.

Not one of the things that I miss about him.

[identity profile] cjsmith.livejournal.com 2007-09-25 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
He'd ask me to come over for help with something, and while I was there, there would be two hours worth of "one more thing".

Ugh.

I'm sure that the reason people do this is that it is very effective, and I'm sure that the reason it is effective is that it is hard to defend against. It's been a while since I had a pattern of this showing up in my life, but now it's coming back, and I'm learning -- my, is this ever easier with experience under my belt! -- to identify quickly the folks or the situations I simply can't ever say yes to.

[identity profile] excessor.livejournal.com 2007-09-25 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
my, is this ever easier with experience under my belt!

I believe this is the definition of wisdom. Its acquisition is painful, its dispensation a pleasure, and most people ignore it. Silly, silly people.

[identity profile] elflet.livejournal.com 2007-09-25 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
I would call that a "Columbo favor"