Acceptance vs. wallowing

[cjsmith]

Sometimes I'm very unhappy about something and I know there's not a darn thing I can do about it except come to some kind of acceptance. (People who have never had a problem outside your power to solve, stop reading now; save your innocence.)

I don't know how to accept something I loathe except to face it over and over and over. Otherwise, I go into denial, not useful long-term. So I keep repeating the unpleasant truth to myself until it doesn't hurt any more. I analyze. I try to find loopholes. I want to know just where the boundaries are. I want to know how bad it is, and I want to face that.

I wallow in it. If I don't, I keep getting unpleasantly surprised when it slaps me in the face.

So far there are not many things in my life that are bad enough that this technique doesn't work. But there are a couple... and it isn't working... and it's been years.

I am quite tired of being unhappy about this crap. If wallowing isn't going to work I can sure be happier day-to-day if I ditch it. Any other techniques??

Comments

[dizzdvl.livejournal.com]

What kind of thing are you loathing? A person? A feeling? A thing? I loathe tomatoes so I avoid them unless they are cooked or in salsa. I don't think eating a sliced tomato over and over will make me like it. It will make me barf though. And then I will loathe them even more, because I think I loathe barfing more than I hate them maters!

Is it something you can give away because you have no control over it? Like I am learning to give away the feeling that my co-worker is stupid and being walked upon and it isn't cool but she isn't bitching so why should I so I gotta let it go kind of thing? (Love that sentence, eh? Ha! You should hear it in my head.) There is some stuff you just can't control so why let it control you and give it away. I give my stuff like that to the squirrels. Because the squirrels need something to do other than running in front of my car. Assholes. They are always running in front of me.

So is that no help at all? :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm loathing a situation I'm in. It's true that I have to reach that point where I can give it away because I have no control over it, but it won't stop affecting me, so I want to find a way that it hurts less emotionally.

I'm serious about the squirrels

[dizzdvl.livejournal.com]

It sounds stupid but once someone told me to give away something to God and I said what do you do if a person doesn't believe or isn't sure? And he said give it to the universe if you have to, but realize that once you have no control over it then it's easier to let it be.

So my squirrels thing sounds dumb but that's what I am doing. Plus the squirrels don't make me go to church on Sundays.

I'm really not being flippant. It's just how I am. There is just too much shit out there for me to be affected by stuff for a long period of time. Not saying I don't flip out about stuff once in awhile and have my moments because I do. I promise. I'm a little nutbag in my own right. But I suppose I just vent and get it out and that seems to work for me.

And then I pet a cat. Because they purr and they don't give a shit about anything. Except where the food comes from. That's the only thing they care about, being nice to us til we feed them. When it gets too rough pet a cat. And when it gets really rought put a bit of tape on their little heads and watch them go batshit. Not very nice, but very giggly.

*hugs*

You can smack me around if I am being annoying.