Dreams

[cjsmith]

This must be "midlife crisis".

A LiveJournal friend asked what people's dreams were and how they changed over the years. Here's how I answered "what did I want to be when I grew up":

Astronaut. I "figured out" I couldn't do that because I was a girl; by the time I learned differently it was too late.

Blue Angel pilot. Yeah, still a girl.

Writer. I never really wrote anything, at least anything that didn't suck. I'm not sure what that says about me and my dreams but it probably isn't good.

Much later I decided I'd be one of those feisty old ladies who ran marathons into her seventies. So much for that.

Now I'd kind of like to be a veterinarian, but I'm not sure I want it enough to raze my life to the ground and start over.

(Plus of course the whole standing up thing. Realistically, veterinarian is not for me this lifetime.)

Computer programmer and square dance caller weren't ever really on the list. Person who works from 6:15am to some time around 8:30pm wasn't on the list. (That was yesterday.) Person with cats, yes; that's always been there. I'd like a dog some day, if I find a means of income that involves being home during waking hours.

But that's the interesting question now, isn't it: do I have any dreams? Any that are left, that is. Those I've discarded I've discarded for good reasons, and while that hurts a lot, I'm not going to change it. Do I have new dreams? Have a dog? Okay, that's one. Anything else? Is that the best I can do?

It's time to reinvent myself.

I wish it were a faster process.

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

That's a small river in there, isn't it? And there might be room for a dirt airstrip. Hmmmmm. :-)

[ambar.livejournal.com]

Indian Creek, technically. The place to have bought for a dirt airstrip has just had an orchard put on half, and a house on the other half. It's the next thing north, between these people and Hwy 26.

Of course, we're not terribly far from KCPU either. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Aw darn. One of my maybe-somedays is living on my own land with a little airstrip.

O'course, heading back to the theme of this entry, you'd think these feet of mine might have taught me a lesson about waiting around to go after my maybe-somedays.