Snippets

[cjsmith]

I've been pretty busy and haven't written much of substance here. Still busy, so here are a few snippets.

1. Last week my sister and her fiance' ran the Boston Marathon. I'm proud as heck of her so I mentioned it a bunch. ONE PERSON thought to ask me, since I can never run again on my painfully damaged feet, whether I was a bit sad. It was an Internet friend whom I've met face to face only once. I'm trying not to pay attention to what this says about the people "close" to me. The quicker I can get over it the quicker I can be happy again.

2. Poll. Go vote.

3. Hey Rob: zoomable Carina nebula.

More later.

Comments

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

(hugs) So sorry about your feet. A potential re-framing of the failure to comment on that by people "close" to you--perhaps they were trying not to rub your face in that fairly obvious fact?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Maybe, although my guess is no; I've been invisible all my life. Heck, at least one of the people close to me doesn't quite believe there's anything wrong.

Honestly, though, if the opinions of others matter that much to me, I've turned over control of my happiness to them. I need to stop that. Easier said than done, but still a worthy goal if I want to be happy.

IMNSHO

[airporter.livejournal.com]

You're working 14 hour days, and you've the nerve to say you're not running? The form has changed, but you're still you, it seems.

Re: IMNSHO

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Ha! True enough. Sadly, I did love the joy of physical movement.

Re: IMNSHO

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

We seriously need to get you a spaceship.

Re: IMNSHO

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Seven-league boots would be cool too. Hmm: if you put on enough pairs of those, one boot over another over another, could you step from here to the moon?

[shoutingboy.livejournal.com]

First off, way to go to your sister and her fella!

Second... If you'd mentioned this on LJ, I honestly didn't see it; I've been busy and have been skimming LJ pretty brutally. So when I didn't ask how you felt about it, it's at least partly because I had no idea it had happened.

Why only "at least partly"? Because if I had known, I'd have felt self-conscious about asking, largely because I'm still able to run (at my tyro, exercise-only, maybe-I'll-do-another-marathon level), and I feel awkward talking about it with you. I might have asked, I might not. I would not have been unaware of your problems.

Third: Invisible? If you're usually invisible, I can only assume it's because you're usually not around heterosexual men. I don't know if that kind of visibility is what you're looking for, but in any event, I'll note that I'm always very distracted whenever I'm in the same room as you...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your comments!

Isn't it great? I love to know the two of them are out doing stuff like that.

I didn't mention the marathon on my LJ, and my "complaint" here was not in any way meant to reflect on my LJ friends. (Not that you necessarily took it as such; I just wanted to clarify.) I did mention it (briefly) in a LJ community, but people there don't necessarily know of my foot problems or of my previous love of running. And of course my family knows, but my family was (quite rightly) busy lauding my sister. Mainly I mentioned it to folks in person. I'm realizing how few close friends I have made here in the last sixteen years. I feel like I haven't truly put down roots since my move from the east coast. Maybe it's time, eh?

I hear you about the awkwardness. I would probably feel the same if situations were reversed. I don't know how to make that any easier, except to say "hey, feel free to mention it, or feel free to not". No one's obligated to throw a pity party for me (and a pity party would be no fun for either of us)! Oddly, after crazyladynocats asked me how I was feeling that day, I suddenly was feeling a whole lot better. One tiny mention turned me right around. I felt noticed, acknowledged, cared-about -- and one sentence was totally enough. That's probably a tangent. I don't know if I'm even on the same subject any more. Just a peek into my psyche.

I thank you for the compliment! That "invisible" bit is a family-of-origin thing. I grew up not really noticed for who I was or how I felt inside. Now that I think of it, I'm glad there's none of THAT kind of visibility from immediate family members! ;-)