I will now chew off the inside of my own face

[cjsmith]

Sometimes I'm so stressed that I can't imagine what would help me relax, even for a moment. I think I want to take a break and then I realize I've been so overwhelmed that I've been taking nothing but breaks. Then I want to take a break from THAT because the energy involved in suppressing the stress is so high.

I imagine myself at a spa getting my feet rubbed... or curled up in a nest of blankets, or sitting in a hot tub... and any of that would just be something else to get through. It wouldn't solve the problem. None of the relaxation would go past the skin and touch me.

Gah. What do you do to relax? Really relax? (Aside from alcohol or drugs. THERE'S a good way to make sure I'm completely ineffective!)

I know I'm just going to have to get through it. It's just a matter of time. And really, I'm blowing the whole thing out of proportion. It doesn't merit this much angst. But gaaaah I really want it to be DONE.

Comments

[wooddragon.livejournal.com]

Well, I was in a really, really stressful situation last year, and there were a few things that helped for a while. A 1 1/2 hour massage every one or two weeks was really nice and helped some. When that didn't help anymore, then I actually had to contemplate changing the situation that was causing me stress (results of stress: losing weight, feeling frantic, re-experiencing grief from Dave's death, needing to go back on anti-anxiety meds, actually taking a valium or two on really bad days), and then I actually had to change the situation.

I can't tell you how empowering changing that situation was. When I was in the stressful situation, it seemed like life and death, and I was so caught up in the drama and the frustrations. Then, once I got past the decision that changed my situation, I suddenly realized that everything wasn't life and death, it was external and not very important.

But man, that was a difficult decision, made far more difficult by being under extreme duress while I made it. I made that decision because I was going to die if I didn't. I am not being melodramatic. My heart would have given out or I would've become anorexic (which for me is truly impossible, except when my body is constantly in fight-or-flight).

What's wrong with my brain that made a situation such a life-and-death thing, is what I would like to know?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

That icon is really scary!

Changing the situation is exactly what I'm going to need to do, and I've taken steps, and now I need to either take some more steps or wait. Probably wait at least a little. Waiting sucks.

What *is* wrong with our brains? My situation isn't as awful as yours was, I don't think, but I'm way overreacting. My heart races at random times. I don't sleep at all well. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?