The joys of telephoning the IRS

[cjsmith]

I managed to telephone my supposed contact person this morning. What an ordeal!

Their phone menu system has a bug in it such that the menu choice for "your return is being examined" gave me "the help line for the Earned Income Credit," a very long recording. Zero, sadly, didn't work at any time; menu system designers are getting smarter about preventing actual phone contact.

I mucked about with other menu choices and found one with a short recording. When it asked whether that answered my question, I chose NO and got put on hold for 25 minutes. Progress!

I then reached what has to have been the dimmest bulb in the history of IRS phone help. She couldn't tell me what a "mortgage or land use contract" was -- she just said "whatever you have, send it". You betcha I got HER name and badge number to use in my letter!

My contact person as named in the letter is the supervisor for this sort of thing. Unlike the person I got this morning, I suspect she has more than one brain cell. Sadly, she wasn't available by phone.

*sigh* the process continues...

(btw: after thorough reading of everything they sent me, there's absolutely no question that this is "an audit". It's a small localized one (so far), and it doesn't require me to appear in person (so far), but don't let me kid myself. It's an audit.)

Comments

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

We call them mini audits, and we get hit with one every two or three years - they audit one line item. Send them what documentation you've got (copies if they'll take them - don't want to send original documents you might need to hold onto), with an explanatory letter stating why you took the deduction the way you did. Usually that takes care of it.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Cool. They'd have to pick an *annoying* line item -- Rob and I are not wed, and the 1098 goes to him with his SSN but not mine, and I pay him back for my half of the mortgage, all of which has to be noted in a letter, and of course if you look at the money changing hands it's a lot more complex than just the mortgage... *sigh*. But it will hopefully work out just as yours have. Fingers crossed!

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

Bleah. *hopeful vibes this passes relatively uneventfully from here out*

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

I have noticed that it is becoming even harder to talk to a person once you get a computerized menu. I didn't really think it *could* be harder, but (1) zero doesn't always work any more, (2) the operator button is often 4 or 7 or something unintuitive, and (3) the operator button whatever it may be doesn't work from every "screen". Annoying.

I'm sorry you have to deal with your taxes like this; what a total pain. I had such confusing taxes last year I really should have had someone professional do it (it took me weeks to figure everything out), but I'm a stubborn ass. I figure, if I can write a dissertation in the philosophy of math, I should be able to work through the IRS web site enough to do my own taxes, no matter what contingencies arise. I'm stupid that way.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I figure, if I can write a dissertation in the philosophy of math, I should be able to work through the IRS web site enough to do my own taxes, no matter what contingencies arise.

I honestly wonder how people who aren't that bright DEAL with stuff like this. Take forty points off your IQ, don't give you any extra money for things like professional tax preparers (or someone to represent you at an audit), and run this scenario again. It doesn't look easy. :-(

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

I know it. I live in constant fear of an audit as it is! I'm pretty sure I get everything right, but it's all so damned confusing. Just never work for a foreign government if you do your own taxes, that's all I can recommend.

You know, when I was a wee lass (18) and expecting the twins, and we couldn't afford to have the babies we were obviously going to have anyway, we went on Medicaid. It was the simplest level of welfare, and it still took all my mental powers to keep up with the paperwork. I have no idea how someone who's on food stamps and gets welfare checks and Medicaid and the whole kit and kaboodle could ever keep up with it all, regardless of their intellect. Imagine, now, that they're mentally handicapped, which many welfare recipients are.

I don't even know how they get by.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Amen. As St. George defended innocent villagers from dragons, we need a saint today to defend us from paperwork!

[hot-turkey.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Unfortunately, sounds like pretty typical for dealing with federal government bureaucrats. Reminds me of when spicy_turkey and I were dealing with the INS, applying for her green card. No intelligent person could have sat there with a straight face and asked the inane questions from the immigration form (e.g. "Are you a prostitute? Do you use illegal drugs? Are you a Communist?").

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It's just crazy. Paperwork is nuts.

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

Ouch. I hate phone systems in general, so I can only imagine how much worse it feels when you're trying to call the IRS. :( Just this morning I was calling about a rebate I was owed on some computer equipment I bought. They sent me a postcard in the mail saying it was rejected for some reason, so I called the number. On the first "page" of the system, my choices were:

1) If it's been less than six weeks and you want to know the status of your rebate, press 1
2) If it's been more than six weeks and you want to know the status of your rebate, press 2
3) If you received a postcard saying your rebate was rejected, press 3.

So I pressed three. Which took me to a menu with two choices:

1) If it's been less than six weeks since you since your rebate in, press 1
2) If it's been more than six weeks, press 2.

I immediately knew I was screwed. :) But since I like jumping through hoops and it had only been 4 weeks, I pressed 1. Sure enough, it kicked me to a message saying I should wait six weeks to receive my rebate and then hung up on me.

You'd think there must be a way to keep track of what you've already answered and create some sort of logic chain to make these things better. :(

Anyway, more importantly, I hope things are going well with the IRS! :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh man, that's just awful. Sadly, the people who get screwed when the menu system is wrong isn't the owners or implementors of the menu system -- it's the legitimate caller. I hate it when things are set up such that the person who does things badly and the person who gets screwed by it are different.

No idea whether things are going well with the IRS. I'm supposed to call in another week or so to make sure they got my packet. Then maybe I'll get a happy letter a long time later... or maybe I won't!

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I feel your frustration. Unfortunately, that's a problem with customer service in general. Your situation with the IRS is different, but I would suspect that 90% of the calls to customer service at any given company are only placed after the company has already (at least in the customers' minds) screwed up. So at that point, I guess there isn't any huge benefit to be had by hiring excellent customer service reps or intelligent programmers for a voicemail system. Once the customer is unhappy, they're going to stay unhappy.

Of course, that's a cynical view and I don't quite believe it. But my experience unfortunately leads me to believe that companies do. :(

I hope things work out with the IRS. I've never received a question like that. The only thing I've ever gotten out of season from the IRS was a note telling me that I forgot to sign my statement and I needed to sign some form and send it to them. Luckily, I didn't have to look anything up for that. ;)