Deadline

[cjsmith]

I may have to face the fact that I'll never get better. What would I do if I knew right this moment that I would never again walk without pain?

The Never Get Better To Do List
1. Apply for disabled parking placard.
2. Cut my hair. Ditch gym membership, get a Y membership. Begin swimming.
3. Quit square dancing.
4. Get an electric scooter, all-terrain if possible. Maybe buy a new car to accommodate it.

I'm holding off on doing those things because I cling to the hope that I'll get better. In some ways the worst part is not knowing either way for sure. My life is on hold until a miracle occurs.

Maybe I should set a deadline. How long am I willing to stay on hold, given that it's already been a year and a half and given that miracles aren't looking likely?

Comments

My two cents

[sharya.livejournal.com]

Right now, it's sounding like your quality of life is sucking pretty majorly. So, why don't you do something about it right now?

All four of those items you listed are pretty much reversible. If you get a disabled placard, you don't have to use it if you get better. If you cut your hair, it can grow. If you get a Y membership and things improve, you can always ditch it and get the gym membership back. And the swimming is helpful no matter which way your health decides to go :P As far as the square dancing goes... if you can't dance, you've sortof already quit haven't you? You just haven't really verbalized it yet... and you can always take it up again in the event that your condition improves. Same thing with the scooter... you could get one now, then sell it if things get better. Or give it away to charity.

The car thing would be the only thing that might be hard to undo, so maybe that could wait... or not. You'll always need a car, so why not get one that will accomodate all your needs, both now and in the future no matter what the future may bring?

They say, when someone either loses or gains weight, they shouldn't wait to change their wardrobe... they should try to make sure that they look and feel good right now. I'm thinking this is a similar situation.

So yeah that's my two cents... and probably worth less than what you paid ;)

Re: My two cents

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

The placard is definitely reversible. Gym memberships can have steep initiation fees, and scooters aren't cheap, and my hair may not grow this long ever again... but I can live with shorter hair and the rest is "only money" (heh, as if I HAVE it).

You're right that it doesn't make sense to wait on anything that's easy to get started on now.

Re: My two cents

[lrc.livejournal.com]

As to the placard, it's kind of cheating, but I just got Dad's placard in the mail.

Have you talked to the gym about suspending the membership?

Is there any chance that doing something like using the scooter and getting off your feet and taking it easy for mumble months will be enough to let the foot heal?

Re: My two cents

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I feel a little weird about cheating on such a thing, although if I were *sure* I would qualify for the temporary hang-tag I wouldn't feel bad about using a borrowed one until I got my own. Huh. I guess the source of my feel-weird is I'm not sure I'd be able to get one.

Doc says staying off it completely would be counterproductive (the nerves would likely flare up even more). I do not get it but am willing to defer to her expertise.

I should just ditch the gym thing anyway. Haven't used it in ages.

Re: My two cents

[lrc.livejournal.com]

The scooter is at my friend RC's shop in Santa Clara. Let me know if you want to check it out.

Re: My two cents

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

I am *sure* you will qualify for a hang-tag. All it takes is a doctor's note, I bleeve, and you've got docs a'plenty.

If you do cut your hair, consider donating it for wigs for children with cancer.

Re: My two cents

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

The Y is a perfectly good gym that's not too expensive and scooters aren't cheap. :)

Re: My two cents

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Indeed they're not, and everything here is inexpensive compared to the new car. To be fair, I'll need *some* kind of new car pretty soon anyway.