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I'd be happier if I learned to forgive old hurts.
Sometimes I find it easier to forgive if I can put myself in the other person's shoes and understand a little - what pressures that person was under, what might have been meant but not said, what might have been said but not meant.
Sometimes I can forgive if I just don't give two hoots about the other person at all. It's incredibly freeing to hold someone in (let's be honest here) such low esteem that I don't care what they think of me. Sadly, or perhaps gladly, this one's rare for me.
Sometimes I can forgive if it's been long enough that I'm not the same person I was. I care less what was done to that CJ, or I now see how I set myself up for it.
Often times, an apology (particularly an indication that hurt wasn't intentional) is all I need. Then it's over, done, gone.
Those are the easy cases. They're so easy it's almost cheating. Real forgiveness... no, I don't think I'm quite so good at that.
Sometimes I find it easier to forgive if I can put myself in the other person's shoes and understand a little - what pressures that person was under, what might have been meant but not said, what might have been said but not meant.
Sometimes I can forgive if I just don't give two hoots about the other person at all. It's incredibly freeing to hold someone in (let's be honest here) such low esteem that I don't care what they think of me. Sadly, or perhaps gladly, this one's rare for me.
Sometimes I can forgive if it's been long enough that I'm not the same person I was. I care less what was done to that CJ, or I now see how I set myself up for it.
Often times, an apology (particularly an indication that hurt wasn't intentional) is all I need. Then it's over, done, gone.
Those are the easy cases. They're so easy it's almost cheating. Real forgiveness... no, I don't think I'm quite so good at that.
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Exactly. I can't see being completely 100% "detached" (with my limited and probably flawed understanding of what the Buddhists mean by that).
And also the possibility of redemption, even of people I don't want to forgive.
Yes. That may be a separate piece for me -- first learn how to let go of the baggage I'm carrying around, and then learn how to recognize the inherent good in others despite their human flaws.
I didn't see the very-private post in question, but I think I know what you mean. An apology can be very powerful.