Anniversary thoughts

[cjsmith]

Today it has been ten years since rfrench and I stood in our living room and promised to stay together for life. At that time we had been together seven years, minus a coupla months.

His proposal was vastly romantic. "If the tax consequences wouldn't be so terrible, I'd ask you to marry me." My reply was equally sappy. "If the tax consequences wouldn't be so terrible, I'd say yes."

So we scrabbled together some vows, and with no witnesses at all, we looked into each others' eyes and spoke. It suited us.

We didn't know it then, but we'd already been through most of the tough stuff we would see for quite a while. Most. We were about to go into a rocky patch that might have separated us had we not promised to try really, really, really hard. It's odd, now, thinking that I'll never be sure whether the timing of those simple words changed the outcome.

A few days later we went to the mall and bought rings. We're not legally wed, but hey, I don't invite the government to my parties, either. The only somewhat-unpleasant side effect of this we've seen is that neither set of parents thinks this relationship is all that serious.

I just asked him to glance over this LiveJournal entry and he nodded. :-) Life is calm, and I'll take calm.

Comments

[crasch.livejournal.com]

His proposal was vastly romantic. "If the tax consequences wouldn't be so terrible, I'd ask you to marry me." My reply was equally sappy. "If the tax consequences wouldn't be so terrible, I'd say yes."


[sniff]

That's so romantic. I want a mate like that.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it really helps to have agreement on some of the basics. My strong pragmatism probably makes me unsuited to most folk out there, but it fits Rob perfectly.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

I think it's great. Pragmatism is an often underrated virtue.

And congratulations!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you - on both counts! :-)

[shadopanther.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary to you both!

-- Shadopanther

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[kitiara.livejournal.com]

I like your version of romantic. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

*grin* thanks! It might not work well for most folks, but we're a pretty good match that way.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

We've figured taxes, too, and we'd probably save money if we married -- but we're thinking we should wait until I graduate so I can get financial aid, then consider the possibilities. I don't mind playing for the perks.

I can't imagine marriage changing our commitment. Fortunately, both of our families agree with us.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I don't mind playing for the perks.

Oh, absolutely.

Your families are way cooler than ours. :)

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

One of those seventeen-year casual flings, eh? Congratulations, and I'm glad y'all are still making each other happy. :) And calm.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yes, not to mention one of those seventeen-year No Grandchildren Yets. :-)

Thank you!

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

If my parents ever start bugging me about that I'm planning to tell them that they clearly suffered a grandchildless mutation (http://tinyurl.com/5st5l).

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh, most excellent! 8-)

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Mazel Tov on a wonderful decade-plus together! That's great :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Durn, what's "thank you" in Hebrew? I can remember "please" but not "thank you".

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Toda raba (thank you very much)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Toda raba!

[paraquat.livejournal.com]

17 years and they still don't take it seriously??? Weeellll, I keep hoping that my sister will dump that republican she married over 20 years ago ;-p. I keep asking when he's going to pay the bride price for her!
But seriously, I've been looking at Limited Liability Parnterships for those of us who think the marriage laws suck. It makes a lot of sense if there are more than two in the relationship and there are children involved. But for a childless couple it may, or may not? If you have no legal agreements now, you may want to talk to a lawyer, incase, yanno, something happens to one of you?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh, they take it somewhat seriously, but I'll never get a "congratulations on 10 [or 17] years" from them.

I hope the Republican treats your sister well and they care for each other. If not, I hope she runs like a cheetah.

Yeah, we have no legal agreements now. The most we'd want at the moment is medical power of attorney and living will. We might consider legal marriage (or LLP if our research found some real dung in the local laws) if we were protecting the future of a child, but, well, some things aren't gonna happen. :)

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on 10 years, and happy anniversary, dear.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Hey g'mornin'! :-) Thank you! :-)

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

happy anniversary and congratulations on 10 years (plus almost seven more) of togetherness and love.

that is a good thing to have in life. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you! (big sappy grin)

most excellent

[gev.livejournal.com]

congratulations on 10+ years!

I need to find a similar partner.
ok, not need. would like to.

oohhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Re: most excellent

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

There are times when I forget that this is good. I suspect everyone has moments like that. But, well, I'm grateful...

Congratulations to both of you :-)

[gs.livejournal.com]

Long term relationships seem to be increasingly rare. I appreciate your effort and commitment.





...and when I say "appreciate" I mean "understand and admire". It's not as if I thought you guys were doing it all for *me*...

No, really.

Re: Congratulations to both of you :-)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Long term relationships seem to be increasingly rare.

If most divorces happen in the first ten, we're over one hump, I guess. (I think another one shows up when the kids become teenagers, but if that's causation rather than correlation we may not notice that time period.)

I appreciate your effort and commitment.

Thanks. This means a bunch coming from you. I admire what you and K do.

It's not as if I thought you guys were doing it all for *me*...

Oh yes, we're doing it ALL for YOU. Even the fifteen, um fourteen, um, I mean some largish number of, yeah that's it, years before we met you. :-)

[redgrrl.livejournal.com]

Congrats, CJ & Rob!! Seventeen years -- how fab!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Well, seventeen in November. Ten yesterday. Odd how that sounds.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

happy anniversary!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *beam*

[dobledorje.livejournal.com]

A little late, but congratulations!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That usericon is WAY CUTE, I can't resist saying. :)

[magicwoman.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary! Who says it's not a "real" anniversary??? I agree with you, this is the best kind of wedding - a meeting and merging of two hearts.

This is pretty much what David and I have too!

Susan

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh excellent! Congratulations to you too, then. A meeting and merging of hearts is wonderful whether it's legal marriage or whatever.

[magicwoman.livejournal.com]

Thank you! David and I have been together since July 1996. Still going strong and have no desire to make it a government affair. It's the commitment of our hearts that count.

Susan

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Ooo, pretty colors!

[msmichelle.livejournal.com]

I am so late and behind on life these days, but I love rfrench proposal, your response, and your ceremony. The best. A Very Happy Belated Anniversary to you two!