Unloading

[cjsmith]

A friend of mine is making wonderful progress on clearing STUFF out of her house. She mentioned how good it feels.

I remember how good it felt to me. I used to be able to get rid of crap, and I always felt better afterwards. It was a weight off my shoulders, a load off my mind, an uplifting of my soul. It was wonderful. I remember.

So why can't I get rid of STUFF any more? I go from one shelf or drawer to the next, and then in mild annoyance I try again in another room, but I'm not truly willing to part with anything I see.

I bet a lot of this has to do with having no paycheck for the last fifteen months. Every object in the house could conceivably - chant it with me now - "come in handy some day". If I can't deceive myself with that tired old line, the object still could be of value to SOMEone, and so it's awfully hard to throw it away. But selling it is a hassle, often more hassle than it's worth. Even finding someone who wants a thing for free is often a hassle. So I don't do anything... and I'm surrounded by STUFF.

Comments

[just-cyd.livejournal.com]

So why can't I get rid of STUFF any more? I go from one shelf or drawer to the next, and then in mild annoyance I try again in another room, but I'm not truly willing to part with anything I see.

is this stuff too emotionally-charged to handle? does it hold too much promise of "if only..."? does it make you angry? That's the thing that stops me dead in my tracks: the emotions tied to the objects.

I like flylady's various approaches to this stuff: set the timer for 15 minutes and deal with one drawer, shelf, or box. when the timer goes off, you're done for now. that works well for me, as too-big tasks will overwhelm me to the point i can't focus, and i never get anywhere.

i put a lot of pressure on myself to keep things, especially if they belonged to mom/grandma/other dead relative and i insisted on having that item. i fear backlash from dad, or my aunt(s), or even my mother herself.

kinda makes ya wanna take the kitties, burn the house down, and start from scratch, eh?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

is this stuff too emotionally-charged to handle? does it hold too much promise of "if only..."? does it make you angry? That's the thing that stops me dead in my tracks: the emotions tied to the objects.

Usually, that's not it. More often it's the idea that I might want the thing some day, and I'm trying to be frugal. But there ARE times when, as you say, it's full of an emotion. Fortunately I'm pretty good at getting rid of the ones full of bad emotions. Gawd, the people who've been purged from my life via my souvenirs of them. This isn't many folk. It's hard to get into that category with me. But some people have succeeded. If I'm angry enough at how I was treated, boom!, out the poor memory-charged object goes.

I like flylady's various approaches to this stuff: set the timer for 15 minutes and deal with one drawer, shelf, or box. when the timer goes off, you're done for now. that works well for me, as too-big tasks will overwhelm me to the point i can't focus, and i never get anywhere.

I've done well with the short time scale, too (although I didn't get it from flylady). I suspect there are a lot of good ideas there.

i put a lot of pressure on myself to keep things, especially if they belonged to mom/grandma/other dead relative and i insisted on having that item. i fear backlash from dad, or my aunt(s), or even my mother herself.

Yeah. I suppose if you think someone else in the family would want the item, you could offer it there first. But still - it IS yours now. Don't guilt yourself too heavily. (I know, easy for ME to say from way over HERE, isn't it?)

kinda makes ya wanna take the kitties, burn the house down, and start from scratch, eh?

Did you see my "fire alarm went off" post? Oddly enough, I was thinking as I drove home that the only things I would be truly sad about losing were 1) my kitties 2) my photos. I may love other things, but losing them would be bearable.