social life

[cjsmith]

Here are a few things I notice.

- anyone who's interested in spending time with me becomes less interested once they get to know me
- the people who know me best have the least time to spend with me
- if I stop reaching out and making invitations, I stop seeing anyone (there's one exception here)

What that tells me is either a) I'm going mad, and imagining observable facts, or b) I do not provide value. (Long term, that is. Short term -- people who don't know me yet -- I think people like the tits. But long term, they see what else comes with, and it's no longer a net win.)

I have to learn how to be a net win, how to provide better value for time spent.

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I miss that, too; for me it's spiced with frustration at not being able to run at all.

I'm not in a position, yet, to say whether or not you provide value over the long term in person. I did find that you provided value to me over the long term in e-mail, and I hope I did the same for you.

Oh, now here's a thought: what if the two aren't necessarily related? I mean, I know I show a different face, just due to the medium. (No sudden blurting. Many bad moods are simply disconnected. That sort of thing.) There are definitely some people who are worse on line than face to face. Maybe there are some who are better.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I have a hard time imagining that the two are completely unrelated. It's possible that one can supplement the other, such that in-person can add to e-mail, and vice verse. I can think of several people I know who, if I had not traded e-mail with them, I might not consider particularly interesting people due to certain awkwardnesses which manifest in person-to-person contact.