social life

[cjsmith]

Here are a few things I notice.

- anyone who's interested in spending time with me becomes less interested once they get to know me
- the people who know me best have the least time to spend with me
- if I stop reaching out and making invitations, I stop seeing anyone (there's one exception here)

What that tells me is either a) I'm going mad, and imagining observable facts, or b) I do not provide value. (Long term, that is. Short term -- people who don't know me yet -- I think people like the tits. But long term, they see what else comes with, and it's no longer a net win.)

I have to learn how to be a net win, how to provide better value for time spent.

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

It can lead to the dangerous "change self for others to like me" train.

True. I was thinking of ways I could change superficially, so that I'm more enjoyable to be around, without feeling like I'm papering over my real feelings or pretending to be someone I'm not. For example, if I see an intersection with jammed-up traffic, I could say "I bet if there were a left turn sequence at this light, those guys would get through faster, and I wonder why that wasn't done" instead of "gawd, whoever designed this one is an idiot". The first more accurately reflects my feelings and thoughts. The second is what tends to drop out of my mouth.

And yeah, geography happens. :)