No

[cjsmith]

Why do I say yes to things when I want to say no?

Get a grip, CJ. You're thirty-five years old. It's way past time to cut out this crap. Thirty-five years of doing what OTHER people want you to, and what does it get you? That's right. So stop already.

(Some day, this will be called a handicap, and parents who raise children to do this will be labeled abusers. Improvement?)

Comments

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

I'm no help ... I do the same thing. My mother was fanatically concerned with what everyone else would think of her and her family, and when necessary resorted to amazing levels of hypocrisy rather than stand up for her own beliefs and feelings.

My favorite example: We were mostly culturally Jewish, and didn't follow the restrictions of most of the holidays, such as not driving. On Rosh Hashanah -- the second holiest holiday of the Jewish year, and the only time, except for Yom Kippur, that my father closed his store that was normally open 6 days a week -- my mother would tell my father to park the car a few blocks away from our apartment building. Then we'd get dressed up and come down to the street, a nice Jewish family out for a walk on the holiday. We'd walk down the block, greeting all the neighbors -- "Good yom tov!" "Good yom tov to you!" -- and stroll casually along till we got to the car, parked where nobody knew us, get in, and drive away.

I was appalled enough at the hypocritical behavior to avoid ever imitating it, but the concern with what others will think of me if I say no to a request is harder to shake. I'm still working on it, though.