No

[cjsmith]

Why do I say yes to things when I want to say no?

Get a grip, CJ. You're thirty-five years old. It's way past time to cut out this crap. Thirty-five years of doing what OTHER people want you to, and what does it get you? That's right. So stop already.

(Some day, this will be called a handicap, and parents who raise children to do this will be labeled abusers. Improvement?)

Comments

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I was raised in a world where the underlying, unquestioned assumption was that prior commitments, illness, or death were the only possible reasons for saying no. The corollary, of course, is that I must never request something unreasonable.

Seeble! Those are my operating guidelines, as well... I shouldn't decline any request, unless it would cause great personal distress or danger. And conversely, never request anything that might put someone else in a difficult position, under the assumption that they'd likewise try to meet *my* request if at all possible. And asking for *anything*, overtly, should be kept to a minimum to avoid inconveniencing others...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Bingo. Yes. Exactly.

This works beautifully if everyone's playing by the same rules. If not, though, this ruleset places its owner at a strong disadvantage compared to those not similarly encumbered.

Sorta like many other things that have come and gone in the name of 'politeness', I guess. Or, heck, even honesty and ethics and such. As long as the behavior is commonplace, the person not following the rules is "the bad guy" and has a social disadvantage. But only as long as it's very common. Otherwise, following it is a handicap... sometimes a big one.

The obvious thing to do is ditch the handicap. Wish it were a little easier to edit my brain.