The Mysterious Box

A package arrived yesterday with no return address and no identifying information other than the postmark. Naturally I turned it over to the bomb squad. Two police dogs went crazy over it, but with a strict command from their handler (a wide-shouldered, roughly handsome guy named Chuck) they reluctantly gave the signal that meant they'd detected nothing amiss.

The men moved the mysterious package to an enormous field where they could pry it open remotely with waldoes. Soft packing material began to emerge. I could tell the guys were edgy; such material could have been used in an attempt to keep an explosive device from going off before it reached its intended recipient. A gruff officer pulled me away from the monitors. "You might not want to see it happen, miss," he cautioned.

A half hour later I was presented with the contents. Cat toys, catnip, a pedicure-in-a-box, and some delicious cookies!

Cyd, you total, utter, complete sweetheart! 8-) 8-)

(The guys curtly refused any form of payment, but I saw cookie crumbs in more than one moustache. Apparently they considered themselves well repaid.)

My sister is ALSO a total sweetheart!

OK, I used up all my creativity on that last story, so I have no clever scenario to describe the arrival of

A CHOCOLATE CAKE

on my desk today. :-) Heh! CHOCOLATE! An ENTIRE CAKE! With candles, and accompanied by a "Happy Birthday" balloon, even! I have a short meeting right now, and in about fifteen minutes my entire team is going to be treated to caaaaaaaake.

(Hmm. Surely I could have come up with something involving aliens. Surely.)

Unified Theory of Cats

These recent discoveries explain an awful lot:

- A stray cosmic ray can cause a cat to attack an air molecule.
- Electromagnetic disturbances may cause all cats in a room to sit or lie in the same position*.
- Eddies in the air currents around a cat's body, if they brush the whiskers just right, will cause a cat's brain to reboot completely. All unsaved data is lost.

These represent tremendous breakthroughs in the field of feline cognition (aka What Is On Your Little Tiny Mind?). More research is needed. Give generously to the CJ Smith Feline Cognition Research Foundation**.

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*...so get out your tinfoil hat when this happens. It may be the only indicator you have. Be prepared!
** CJSFCRF***.
*** Hey, the cats can pronounce it.