Maybe you folks have better ideas...

What do you do when someone dumps a steaming pile of judgment all over you, still warm from the source?

I haven't yet learned how to not care, and I'm often bad with a quick zinger of a comeback. So what I do is just kinda mope. Not optimal I suppose.

Lesson learned: don't go to stores

Went to the mall tonight and struck out completely.

Errand 1: Go see if I should buy the next larger size when I get new jeans.

Not only does Eddie Bauer not carry the size I'm wearing -- I knew that -- they now don't carry the entire style. I tried on some weird stretch thing and while it was tight in my hips (aren't they all) there was room for two of me in the waist (story of my life). I asked about the style I have. Ha ha! I'm such a comedian. "You're lucky Eddie Bauer still sells jeans," I could imagine the salesperson saying as I walked out.

Strike one.

Errand 2: New bras.

Not only does Victoria's Secret not carry the size I'm wearing -- is this starting to sound familiar? Sure enough, the saleslady advised me that the style I have is being discontinued. She saw it in the catalog a month or so ago on sale. "Go on line tonight," she said, "and see if there are still any left." I glanced around the store on my way out. Everything else Victoria's Secret sells is so padded you could knock on it and someone would try to answer the door. In fact, in among all that padding none of the bras seemed to have left any room for, well, content. Anyone so crass as to have breasts had better shop somewhere else.

Strike two.

Errand 3: SPANC.

Figured I'd save myself six bucks for shipping. However, despite the fact that this mall is twice the size it was when I last came here, there is now no longer a games store in it. Well, except for electronic X-Box type stuff. Can't buy a deck of cards anywhere, much less a Steve Jackson game.

Strike three.

Guess I've learned my lesson. The days of shopping in person are over. Trying on clothing is so twentieth century. Everyone buys on the web now, daaahlink. (Unless you want a computer game or a bra that doubles as castanets.)