Unloading

A friend of mine is making wonderful progress on clearing STUFF out of her house. She mentioned how good it feels.

I remember how good it felt to me. I used to be able to get rid of crap, and I always felt better afterwards. It was a weight off my shoulders, a load off my mind, an uplifting of my soul. It was wonderful. I remember.

So why can't I get rid of STUFF any more? I go from one shelf or drawer to the next, and then in mild annoyance I try again in another room, but I'm not truly willing to part with anything I see.

I bet a lot of this has to do with having no paycheck for the last fifteen months. Every object in the house could conceivably - chant it with me now - "come in handy some day". If I can't deceive myself with that tired old line, the object still could be of value to SOMEone, and so it's awfully hard to throw it away. But selling it is a hassle, often more hassle than it's worth. Even finding someone who wants a thing for free is often a hassle. So I don't do anything... and I'm surrounded by STUFF.

I have a job.

I signed offer papers at Company S. I'll call them that for now -- I doubt they're in stealth mode, but I'll be cautious until I ask. This is a small company with several people I've worked with before. I'm looking forward to working with them again.

Then I stressed myself out inordinately over saying no to the others. Gawd, I hate saying no. These opportunities looked good, the people seemed competent AND nice, and I could tell both places were shorthanded until they made a hire. Some of these guys had worked pretty hard to get my interview process(es) to run smoothly. I didn't want to say no to them! But I'm only one person, and I had to pick only one place. Aaaaaa!

Now I'm mostly done with those phone calls. One HR rep at Company P has been hard to reach, but she's the only one I haven't called yet. I've also talked with the engineers directly. Everyone has been incredibly gracious about it. I'm relieved, I'm impressed with everyone's professionalism, and I'm extra wistful about having to say no to good folk.

Now that I've done all this my mood is much better. I really was stressing out about those phone calls. I think that was just as difficult as making the decision in the first place, which is goofy if you ask me! Why do little things have the power to get to me so much?

Anyway. At least it's done, or darn close, and my life is much better now.

Now I get to figure out what to do with my remaining four days of freedom. (The weekend's taken -- a big square dance gig.)