Dear So-and-So, It's Not Me, It's You

Dear right knee,

WTF? You were fine after a seven mile hike but sitting in an office for a day did you in? You little whiner. What is wrong with you THIS time? Never mind, I don't EVEN want to know. You better behave during flight training this weekend, that's all I have to say.

Annoyedly,
Me

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Dear Netscape 4.7,

Putting news and ads up in my mail client every time I start it was bad enough. But popping up a new window for your ads is downright rude. Taking over a window I already had open and putting crap in it is ten times worse! Did it ever occur to you that I was DOING something in that window? People actually USE you, you know. If you would let them.

Thinking thoughts of Opera,
A User

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Dear employer,

Working for you is like being eaten to death slowly by a small number of ants.

Candidly,
A Non-Loyal Employee

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Dear clock,

Could you pick up the pace a little? I sure could use some dinner.

Hungrily,
CJ

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Dear computer,

I swear, you crash one more time and I'm gonna wipe the floor with your hard drive.

Nastily,
Your Human

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Dear economy,

This is long enough. You've had your sulk. Get over it.

Unsympathetically,
A Consumer