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One of my first thoughts upon seeing the disaster at the World Trade Center was: "Civilians! They're noncombatants -- sacred! You cannot touch civilians!" I thought it was fueled in part by my military background, my brainwashing if you will.
I realized the other day that it's not JUST that. Yes, I am outraged whenever civilians are targeted. But these were "my" civilians. Not just people with whom I share a continent -- frankly, I rarely feel much commonality with New York City -- but people I was supposed to protect. I was in the military. These are the people I stood up to defend. The civilians of the United States, the mothers and dads and workers and the families traveling on planes, these are the people I thought of when I took my oath. And I'm not in the military any more, and I wasn't there, and these people are gone...
Survivor's guilt amplified by something I don't have a name for: the feeling I fell down on the job, somehow.
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Oath of Induction (All U.S. Military Personnel)
I, _________, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.
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Oath of Office (Officers)
I, _________(name), having been appointed a _________(rank) in the U.S. _________(branch of service) under the conditions indicated in this document, do accept such appointment and do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter, so help me God.
I realized the other day that it's not JUST that. Yes, I am outraged whenever civilians are targeted. But these were "my" civilians. Not just people with whom I share a continent -- frankly, I rarely feel much commonality with New York City -- but people I was supposed to protect. I was in the military. These are the people I stood up to defend. The civilians of the United States, the mothers and dads and workers and the families traveling on planes, these are the people I thought of when I took my oath. And I'm not in the military any more, and I wasn't there, and these people are gone...
Survivor's guilt amplified by something I don't have a name for: the feeling I fell down on the job, somehow.
===============
Oath of Induction (All U.S. Military Personnel)
I, _________, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.
===============
Oath of Office (Officers)
I, _________(name), having been appointed a _________(rank) in the U.S. _________(branch of service) under the conditions indicated in this document, do accept such appointment and do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter, so help me God.