Shook up

[cjsmith]

A while back I mentally searched the list of women I knew, to see if I knew any who were happily married for a long time. My criteria were simple. The person had to be:

• Female
• Married
• In this relationship for TEN YEARS (I picked this because of statistics on divorce before and after the ten year mark - ten years is "pretty stable")
• Happy (not just biding her time until the kids are old enough for a divorce, not wondering what life would be like if, not trapped but grinning-and-bearing-it, not Working Through A Rough Time Right Now, but GLAD she's there)

I came up with one after a fair amount of thought. I have several other possibles. For most of these possibles I have to stretch one or more of the criteria - sometimes the length of time, and sometimes I don't know the lady in question well enough to say whether she's grinning and bearing it. But there was one DEFINITE.

So I thought of my own life, and I thought, okay, I'll try to stick it out. One out of hundreds of women I know -- hey, I can match those odds. I'm willing to work at it. She exists, so I know it's possible.

Last night I learned she's filing for divorce.

Y'know, I hate to sound like a cynic, but some days the cynical answer really does fit what I can see.

Comments

[cassidyrose.livejournal.com]

This is a rough one.

My sister (3.5 years my junior) has recently become very disheartened as I and our two cousins (both my age) have all been married and divorced. And worse, all our husbands were abusive. Also, a woman we grew up with (also my age) who was married a year before I was, is also now getting divorced. My sister is really discouraged.

At my high school reunion, there was one other woman from my social circle of sorts who had already been married and divorced as well (like me). We've only been out of high school for 10 years.

Yeah, it is depressing at times

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it is depressing at times

Isn't it? But you are happy with your Kitty now, yes? Ten years from now I hope you are still happy. :-)

[cassidyrose.livejournal.com]

I am incredibly happy with my Kitty now and I hope to remain so for many years to come.