Tuesday, October 5th, 2021 05:34 pm
“The Crane Wife” is a story from Japanese folklore. I found a copy in the reserve’s gift shop among the baseball caps and bumper stickers that said GIVE A WHOOP. In the story, there is a crane who tricks a man into thinking she is a woman so she can marry him. She loves him, but knows that he will not love her if she is a crane so she spends every night plucking out all of her feathers with her beak. She hopes that he will not see what she really is: a bird who must be cared for, a bird capable of flight, a creature, with creature needs. Every morning, the crane-wife is exhausted, but she is a woman again. To keep becoming a woman is so much self-erasing work. She never sleeps. She plucks out all her feathers, one by one.


https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/07/16/the-crane-wife/
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 03:08 am (UTC)
*shudders*

I have a much cheerfuller Crane WIfe to tell you about in exchange:

https://naryrising.tumblr.com/post/664210796426969088
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 07:40 am (UTC)
she did, and that makes a big difference! but still, it's sad the choices women get subjected to.
Thursday, October 7th, 2021 03:13 am (UTC)

yay! :D

Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 09:26 am (UTC)

In the version of this story I know, the husband eventually discovers she's a crane, and when she tries to flee fearing his rejection, he holds onto her tight and tells her he loves her for who she is, not what. (I paraphrase, in the actual story he lists her many good qualities as a wife, and composes a poem to her beauty and grace. Needless to say, she's still skeptical but stays.)

He tells her to get some sleep, and sits with her while she sleeps until sunset the next day. Then scolds her (gently) for ruining her beautiful feathers which grew back in while she slept. At that point she believes he's for real, and says that if she could she'd marry him again.

I think I prefer that version, even if it's probably not authentic.

Edited 2021-10-06 09:33 am (UTC)
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 04:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you for sharing that version, that's the one I thought I remembered.
Thursday, October 7th, 2021 03:33 am (UTC)
a much better version, for sure. and who knows, it may well be authentic, since "accept magical beings for who they are" is not an uncommon theme in folktales.
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 11:42 am (UTC)
Sounds about right...

*sighs*
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 11:58 am (UTC)
An interesting sad pair with selfie wife stories.
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 07:44 pm (UTC)
Oh G-d yes.
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021 04:05 pm (UTC)
This is a beautifully told story that is a story of my early life and most of my dating life. I've shaped myself to fit others' desire on too God damn many occasions. Cut myself back again and again.

Now is better, now is healing, but holy hell what we do to our women and girls.
Thursday, October 7th, 2021 01:13 am (UTC)
And since the point of those lessons is to facilitate manipulation and control, often for sexual reasons, ...if I actually sit with that understanding for very long I have such rage that I can't function. Probably part of my depression, tbqh.
Thursday, October 7th, 2021 08:41 am (UTC)
there is a post being shared on FB pulled from AITA on reddit about a woman whose husband doesn't like her to read because then she is not available to converse with (read: pay attention to) him whenever he desires so she's read, i forget, maybe 3 books in 5 years. i didn't sing with a choral group for the 14 years of my first marriage because my wife didn't take my singing seriously. this story is everywhere, without the feathers.
Thursday, October 7th, 2021 05:27 pm (UTC)
Applies to so much more than just gender, even.
Saturday, October 9th, 2021 12:10 am (UTC)
I think most people are kind and thoughtful to people they care about.
Sunday, October 10th, 2021 03:55 am (UTC)
Yeah.
Sunday, October 10th, 2021 06:48 am (UTC)
A horrific reminder of what my life used to be like.

It feels so good when you stop plucking.