How not to have lunch with a friend

[cjsmith]

1. Arrange to meet "at his office", a street address, "to pick him up and go to the restaurant."
2. Key point: do not determine whether the driver is going to park and go in or whether the passenger is going to come out.
3. Another key point: make sure this is in a town with zero parking at lunch time, and make sure the driver can't park far away and walk because she can't walk far.
4. For extra bonus points, make sure the numbers on the buildings are hard to read while driving.

This would of course be Palo Alto. Pedestrians there are not all legally blind, but those who are not are required to sign a pact that they will have their eyes closed for the duration of their stay. About 50% of the drivers have obviously signed a similar pact. 90% of the drivers sign the one about not using turn signals. One two-way street I needed to use is not in fact wide enough for two-way traffic. If anyone out there thinks I had much time to look at BUILDINGS, think again.

5. Last key point: make sure the driver does not have with her ANY WAY AT ALL to reach the passenger. This was my big #@$!up.

I arrived ten minutes early and orbited for long enough to realize there was a problem. About ten minutes AFTER the scheduled time, I had the target zone narrowed down to two blocks, so I shrank the orbit. Shortly after that I realized I was spending enough time wedged in traffic that I could write text messages, so I did.

5. Text a mutual friend and beg for help, asking if she could tell passenger to head out to the curb.
6. Have mutual friend not see the text message for fifteen or thirty minutes.

I orbited for another fifteen minutes, spending the last go-round composing my "giving up I'm so sorry" text message.

I'm back at work now. As I pulled into the parking lot, mutual friend's SMS reply arrived. She got in contact with passenger and the knot was beginning to unravel. This is going to be comedy GOLD in an hour or two... or as soon as I get some food. I spent over an hour and a half utterly failing to get lunch.

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I had my cell phone on silent still from last night's birthday dinner, but my phone was right next to me. I'm sorry I didn't see blinky light. :(

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh, no biggie! It's not YOUR job to save me from my stupidity! :-) You were merely the best idea I could come up with. That's a far cry from "it's Mary's job to fix this." :-)

[edit: It occurs to me there are two kinds of "I'm sorry". Anyway, just wanted to reassure you about who I think effed up here, and I think it's me.]

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Indeed. I usually use "I apologize" when that's what I mean. :) I wish you'd gotten to have lunch with good company. I wish the same for him.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me too! Ah well, dangit. Better luck next time.

[tattermuffin.livejournal.com]

oh no! what a fiasco! *hug

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Isn't it nuts? At least I figured out where my screwup was; next time, at least I won't do that.

[anirishpenguin.livejournal.com]

Sorry lunch didn't work out today. Next time I'm sure it will and you'll have a lovely time.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I hope so! *rueful smile*

[just-cyd.livejournal.com]

oh man. how frustrating!!! that's somehow amplified when you're anticipating food, too.

i see no mention of sleet nor snow nor dead of night, so i'm assuming you at least had that going for you?

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's CA, so we don't get those. Except night. But usually that's not at lunch. ;-)

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

Argh. I hate it when that happens.

I had a visiting distant relative. We were gonna meet up at the restaurant, but she got stuck in traffic and decided to cancel; unfortunately, she didn't have my cell phone number with her in the car, only my e-mail, and I had my cell phone but no way to check e-mail, so I didn't find out what was going on until Andres got home and checked my e-mail for me about an hour after we were supposed to have eaten. :(

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Isn't that awful? Gah! We are so used to instant connectivity that we no longer think of how folks dealt with this twenty years ago (call the restaurant) or sixty (my guess: wait a half hour, eat, figure out what happened later). In your case, she figured you could see mail, and sometimes that no worky. In my case, I figured I could phone, and sometimes that no worky. :-)

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's Palo Alto. And it sucks.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

*laughter* And the speed limit is two, but it doesn't matter, because the roads are so choked. :-) There are a few places I do my darndest not to go: Stanford Shopping Center (same reasons), Berkeley (same reasons), and Palo Alto. But some people are worth it, so today I plunged in.

[leback.livejournal.com]

I am impressed that you are *already* cognizant of the comic potential. In your position, I suspect I would still be swearing profusely and wanting to hit things.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Fortunately, I was in a mellow frame of mind. Otherwise I'm sure I'd have been frustrated and annoyed for the whole rest of the day.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

mostly i felt bad for you - spending 90 minutes driving around on an empty stomach is never fun! didn't know palo alto was so horrible to drive through either - is it just university? i can cheerfully stroll down and meet you on alma next time if so

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I felt bad for you - you had no way of knowing what the heck was going on! Yeah, that section of Palo Alto is heinous. A couple blocks northwest (into the residential section) is way better, or I'm sure we could find a pick-up spot with parking. :-)

I also didn't know until I got Mary's message that you had no way of reaching me. I was so sure you had my phone number. (Then again, until I got into town, I was sure I had yours. sigh!)

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

I was mildly annoyed that you'd lulled me into a false sense of security by giving me your landline rather than your mobile number :) (not annoyed at you, mind, just annoyed)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'm evil that way, always wanting to trick people into thinking they can have lunch with reach me. :-)

[jupiter29.livejournal.com]

What a frustrating trip. I hate being on my way to pick somebody up and suddenly realizing we have not planned the event in enough detail. That is one of the few times in life when I actually enjoy having a cell phone. :) But first and foremost, I try to remember to plan better. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Doesn't that just suck? Especially when the one-way part of the trip is 25 minutes to begin with. *sigh* Lesson learned!