Punctuation pooh-poohs

[cjsmith]

This? Is not grammatically correct.
Neither? Is this.
It makes prose? Sound whiny and ineffective.
When I do this? Somebody please kick my butt.

Almost every time I see an ellipsis... a comma would be better.
Commas indicate natural pauses in speaking... as this seems to be trying to do.
If it's meant to add emphasis... it's not working.
When I do this... somebody please kick my butt.

Comma splices are another one, each of these should be a sentence, it drives me crazy when I have to read it, I never know if the writer has a point in mind, in fact I usually start to figure they don't, I'm probably guilty of all three of these too sometimes, maybe I should have been a grade-school English teacher, this kind of thing really jumps out at me, when I do this somebody please kick my butt.

I feel better now.

Comments

Grammar Goths

[psi-star-psi.livejournal.com]

I recall enjoying it more the first time (~15 years ago), but I read it in a shorter period then. I've been using it as emergency reading for about a year. I mainly read it on the elliptical machine at the gym; that may influence my opinion. It possesses a whacked sense of humor for the example sentences. Gothic imagery, fanciful beasts, and other oddities run about conjugating and phrasing. These are accompanied by sidebar illustrations to match random sentences. Discussion of the rat mafia with a picture of a rat packing a pistol bigger than himself is memorable.

Re: Grammar Goths

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I'd probably enjoy it. A whacked sense of humor goes a long way with me!

Re: Grammar Goths

[airporter.livejournal.com]

Oh, can I have that ISBN please?

As Allan will likely tell you (whence the topic arises,) I am hell on ellipses.

Re: Grammar Goths

[psi-star-psi.livejournal.com]

I just pulled it out of my backpack: ISBN 0-673-41860-1

Here's an Amazon link: The Deluxe Transitive Vampire (http://www.amazon.com/Deluxe-Transitive-Vampire-Handbook-Innocent/dp/0679418601/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216164809&sr=8-1). Mine's softcover, though. And since the topic is punctuation, the more relevant book is The New Well-Tempered Sentence (http://www.amazon.com/New-Well-Tempered-Sentence-Punctuation-Handbook/dp/0618382011/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216164945&sr=8-2) by the same author. I haven't read the second one, though.