Actually, on reflection, the more useful truth of the matter is probably a synthesis of the above two comments. It was a thought pattern that led to people I considered my friends telling me that I had no choice but to play, no matter what I wanted or decided to do. And which presented this in a paradigm in which I didn't have an effective way to argue with them.
And it's a thought pattern which reminds me of that feeling, and brings it up again in that choice of "do I have to reject this stupid paradigm and its insistence that I'm cheating, again?" every time I'm remember it. And I have a visceral annoyance at that feeling, and that reminder of having my friends do that to me.
(I should note that cjsmith's post didn't feel like she was doing the same thing, because her amusement at it carried through and more importantly she wasn't actually telling me personally that I was playing, unlike my abovementioned friends where it was personally directed. And the bit of unpleasantness to the reminder is something I attribute to the thing itself, not to a person who mentions it.)
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And it's a thought pattern which reminds me of that feeling, and brings it up again in that choice of "do I have to reject this stupid paradigm and its insistence that I'm cheating, again?" every time I'm remember it. And I have a visceral annoyance at that feeling, and that reminder of having my friends do that to me.
(I should note that