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Thursday, June 26th, 2008 05:53 pm
Happy Hour in the office today is nachos and beer. In terms of progress, my day so far has pretty much been like yesterday, and things aren't exactly speeding up while I listen to everybody else party. Did I mention that the music is loud?

I realize I have really turned into a whiner lately. I do not like being a whiner. There must be things I can do to improve this situation. So far, I can think of three dramatic changes I might be able to make, any one of which would help in the short term:
1) Get off this diet
2) Get off this project
3) Find a job at a less food-oriented company, or at least one that isn't militantly carbohydrate-only

Maybe other things would help too. It is now my job to think of them.

But damn, it sure would be nice to be like everybody else once in a while. I took years to accept the fact that I would never again be fully able-bodied. I thought I was done with this "suck it up, everyone around you can enjoy things you will never enjoy again, get used to it and learn to shut up" kind of mental adjustment crap. Now I have the relentless tyranny of food in addition to being a gimp.

Some days just suck.

And now I need to think of ways I could make life suck less.
Sunday, June 29th, 2008 04:47 am (UTC)
YES, it is something you can tackle! My thoughts were:
1. have food that YOU like with you and around you and stashed in so many places that there is always some (and, as you said, various kinds)
2. bring in food to share. Actually getting the company to buy food you can eat is even better.

I'm vegetarian (almost vegan) and have been for around 20 years. I realize what you are doing is much more restrictive (as well as being new to you). I bring fruit in to work to share with co-workers every once in a while. It's good share food. I have my one sandwich I order at Togo's. Yours may be harder, but you CAN have food, abundant and yummy food, around you. You can even do it almost easily -- once you get it figured out.

Maybe also think about drinkable things to bring over to the party?

As for the feeling resentful and grumpy-- I don't see how anyone in your shoes would not feel this way, more or less, at least some of the time. I'm pretty sure that if you had a friend who was doing the stuff you are doing you'd think listening to some complaints would be the least you could do, and very very reasonable on their part -- no? Perhaps "whining" is practice for letting people know, nicely, that you need to have a few changes made. This will also clue them in if/when you quit or start screaming etc....
Sunday, June 29th, 2008 05:12 am (UTC)
I've gotten started, a bit, with my latest run to Trader Joe's. This probably sounds horrific to a vegan, but I've got a big pile of cheeses and salame, and those can be my new snacks! They need refrigeration, so that's not ideal -- stuff has a way of vanishing from the communal work fridge -- but it's a darned good start.

You're probably right about the resentful and grumpy. It's just that I feel I *finally* got somewhat sane and re-balanced after the whole foot thing, having spent the better part of five years resentful and grumpy, and oh look, here I go again! *sigh* I want to make more conscious choices about my attitudes, because I don't want to turn into an eighty-year-old prune pit some day.
Sunday, June 29th, 2008 05:59 am (UTC)
Actually the cheese and salame are not at all horrific to me. Not that I want to EAT them (I don't) but um I guess I'm more just into food and the whole finding choices thing.... so YEAH for that!

Regarding the 5 years: exactly.
Regarding choices of attitudes: can you please teach me how to do this? --I'm well on the way to being a bitter old person.
Sunday, June 29th, 2008 06:18 am (UTC)
Re: communal fridge: Do you put labels on packages with your name on it? This has worked well for me in company fridges and freezers (although I do use MY name rather than yours....) I also try to put my stuff in out-of-the-way drawers or take over ONE shelf in the door with stuff with my name (so at least it is not all over the place.) One company I worked for had an almost empty freezer -- which I made use of by "stocking up" on frozen stuff (and labelling it as mine).